Miscellaneous: Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if...

By Benji - 20/05/2009 19:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 543

You deserved it 7 498

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 239

You deserved it 4 253

By mumblingdope - 25/05/2016 08:52 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 948

You deserved it 1 193

By Bruce - 02/02/2012 03:11 - United States

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 499

You deserved it 3 411

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 10 129

Thanks, lady

By Anonymous - 12/10/2017 23:15

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 373

You deserved it 255

Butter fingers

By SplashOuch - 05/01/2010 17:58 - United States

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 945

You deserved it 7 191

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 678

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 534

You deserved it 2 566

By Rach - 08/06/2010 14:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 675

You deserved it 4 391

By disheshateme - 18/11/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 700

You deserved it 3 980

the_boss_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:09

its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom

Peanu_theGreat 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:08

... You were naked?

Comments

SuperSpore 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:17

#22: Where do you live, where I live, it turns Summer on June 21st or around that.

dew_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:19

For all the idiots saying "why weren't you were wearing pants while your mom was there?" did it ever cross your pea sized brain that mabye it was in the morning? I know I still walk around in a robe and in my underware in the morning and watch tv. Really, if he was naked or watching **** I think his mom wouldn't just come in like nothing is happening and ask him if he wants a candy bar. __. |__|.

pokurfayce 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:22

marscandykills ):

dew_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:23

Stupid thing got cutoff, by the little square it should have said "you need a brain bigger then this to be on this site"

helllllllo_9 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:34

LMAOOOO AT #4 & #17. So, you were wearing short shorts, I'm guessing? LOLOL

clockworkrainbow 3

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:35

That makes my non-existent penis hurt. D: Also, you 'tards that keep saying he's naked with his mom in the room and he deserved it... ITS HOT LIQUID. It goes through any clothes that are thick, thin, short, or long. Pour some hot water on your crotch with any bit of clothing on and see how it feels. OP, that sucks for you.

TheRightEye 3

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:35

He was probably wearing boxers and he's probably a teen, and he never said he was watching tv WITH his mom, she probably came to the room and threw the bar at him from his door like lots of people do.

piddly_03 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:39

why is everyone saying #4 is the shit? it really wasnt that funny. annd just because his legs were bare doesnt mean he was naked you sick *****. he could have been wearing shorts, or better yet, he was probably wearing boxers or something.. if he was drinking coffee, it kind of implies morning.