Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML
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Top comments
the_boss_fml 0
its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom
Peanu_theGreat 0
... You were naked?
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Comments (220)
SuperSpore 0
#22: Where do you live, where I live, it turns Summer on June 21st or around that.
dew_fml 0
For all the idiots saying "why weren't you were wearing pants while your mom was there?" did it ever cross your pea sized brain that mabye it was in the morning? I know I still walk around in a robe and in my underware in the morning and watch tv. Really, if he was naked or watching **** I think his mom wouldn't just come in like nothing is happening and ask him if he wants a candy bar. __. |__|.
pokurfayce 0
marscandykills ):
dew_fml 0
Stupid thing got cutoff, by the little square it should have said "you need a brain bigger then this to be on this site"
helllllllo_9 0
LMAOOOO AT #4 & #17. So, you were wearing short shorts, I'm guessing? LOLOL
clockworkrainbow 3
That makes my non-existent penis hurt. D: Also, you 'tards that keep saying he's naked with his mom in the room and he deserved it... ITS HOT LIQUID. It goes through any clothes that are thick, thin, short, or long. Pour some hot water on your crotch with any bit of clothing on and see how it feels. OP, that sucks for you.
TheRightEye 3
He was probably wearing boxers and he's probably a teen, and he never said he was watching tv WITH his mom, she probably came to the room and threw the bar at him from his door like lots of people do.
piddly_03 0
why is everyone saying #4 is the shit? it really wasnt that funny. annd just because his legs were bare doesnt mean he was naked you sick *****. he could have been wearing shorts, or better yet, he was probably wearing boxers or something.. if he was drinking coffee, it kind of implies morning.
amylol_fml 0
hahah why the **** were your legs bare?
SmoothTalker 0
hey some girls would find that hot...er no pun intended :-D