Miscellaneous: Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if...

By Benji - 20/05/2009 19:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 543

You deserved it 7 498

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 239

You deserved it 4 253

By mumblingdope - 25/05/2016 08:52 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 948

You deserved it 1 193

By Bruce - 02/02/2012 03:11 - United States

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 499

You deserved it 3 411

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 10 129

Thanks, lady

By Anonymous - 12/10/2017 23:15

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 373

You deserved it 255

Butter fingers

By SplashOuch - 05/01/2010 17:58 - United States

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 945

You deserved it 7 191

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 678

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 534

You deserved it 2 566

By Rach - 08/06/2010 14:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 675

You deserved it 4 391

By disheshateme - 18/11/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 700

You deserved it 3 980

the_boss_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:09

its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom

Peanu_theGreat 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:08

... You were naked?

Comments

dr_house_MD 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:14

you were naked?

ramdoodle45 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:15

what kind of weenie can't catch

mr_kurtz 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:19

i like turtles

qkzp 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:27

HAHAHAHAHAH THAT SUCKS. sorry to laugh at your misfortune... but then again, this whole site is basically dedicated to laughing at misfortune. therefore... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

princess333 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:33

sucks to be u !!!

mr_kurtz 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:36

my penis is on fire, my penis is so hot my mum threw me a mars bar and my coffee was upsot

HugoZorilla 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:43

Did your mommy kiss it and make it all better?

ParadoxVT 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:50

Christ, why is everyone here so stupid? I sleep in my boxers, and on weekends, holidays and days where school occurs late I don't shower right away. Instead I have a cup of coffee to wake me up and prepare me for the day while I relax. Notice: BOXERS. Have all of you noticed that boxer's aren't that long to cover your legs? And yet are thin enough to burn you? CORRELATION! Everyone who's saying how he's sick and disgusting for "not wearing anything" when his mother's around is insecure about their own privates. I could care less if my mother saw my privates, it's just another part of my body. People generally drink coffee in the MORNING, which explains why his reflexes were SLOW. I'd be surprised if any of you here was at their best right when they wake up in the morning and are lazing about.

mr_kurtz 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:51

Dude your totally in luck because the key to healing the wound is in the mars bar...just rub it slowly up and down your penis and shout out these words, "MARS BAR MARS BAR DO YOUR TRICK, HEAL MY SLIGHTLY SCALDED DICK"...trust me this works like a charm