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53, you're a moron. The post says he woke up wheezing which probably means he spent the night. Loving your animals doesn't make you old or a virgin. Maybe if we had more people like the OP taking responsibility for their animals there wouldn't be millions of unwanted dogs and cats put to sleep in shelters every year (which is not an exaggeration).
Which has a better chance, two abandoned cats (which are probably old as the OP has such a good relationship with them) who will probably be put down if put in a kennel OR a guy who has a world of girls he might like. @OP good choice because your cats will be there for you when he leaves. Even though i dislike cats i Know that nothing would make me leave my dogs :)
For all of you saying that O.P is stupid and how could she have chosen her cats over someone she loves, she probably loves her cats as well. I have a dog and I love her as much as I love my family and I can't imagine getting rid of her, so it's probably not her fault.
Unless you've been dating for a long time, which I'm assuming you haven't because he just now found out he's allergic to your cats, don't even think of choosing him. You're doing the right thing OP :) If my bf wanted me to choose between my dogs or him, I'd choose my dogs anyday.
i would chose the cats as well, you cannot return the kittens because they will not be able to take care of themselves. anyway, if the man was loving you he would sacrifice himself for the good of the cats. he should acknowledge that you care about them. furthermore, tell him to get some medicine and stop being such a little biatch.
wow I don't care what anyone says you had a choice between an ANIMAL which probably only sees you as fuss and food giver, or a loving boyfriend who is actually important? and you chose the cats? that is really retarded, the cats would go to a new owner real quick, but he will probably be really upset, so f his life!
It doesn't matter. If the boyfriend really cares for her he wouldn't have given her an ultimatime, he would have known she loved the cats. There are guys who take bullets for the girls they love. I know its not like a scientific fact, but love makes you put up with a lot of stuff. I would never ask the person I love to give up their pets unless we were getting married. If they lived together he would have known about the cats. They can have sex at his place if need be, if it get serious then they can sit down a discuss it. There is not sign that the Op is living with him, engaged, or has been with him long enough for the 'cats' to have been discussed before. A new boyfriend and she has to give up her pets just so he can sleep (he didn't die, he just sneezed) over. Yea, your cats so I can have your pussy...nice.
98- I'm a young, reasonably attractive woman with a gorgeous six year old cat. If I were dating a man (not living with him), and he was allergic to her and gave me an ultimatum this would be my choice: A) Possibly flash in the pan boyfriend, who I would NEVER be able to own a cat with again if it did last (I'm 21, likely to live to at least 80). B) Abandoning a lovely, loyal (despite moving away from home and my parents feeding her, still loves me best) creature, to a home where she certainly would have to wait a while before adoption. If this guy wasn't special enough for her to give up her cats, then he wasn't special enough to keep. Both OP and I will be better off with people who at least tolerate cats, and there are plenty more fish in the sea.
113, I didn't understand A, but the fml says he woke up, which means it's at least pretty serious, or they live together, in which case ditching a relationship for animals which, I realise this is a different debate, probably don't actually like her like she does, they are animals, they are not meant to have masters, and I highly doubt they feel any emotions to their owners, is VERY STUPID
No. Him waking up at hers just means he stayed over- I THINK (not much info to be sure of anything) that this relationship is still fairly new- for instance, he hasn't noticed his allergies before. So if she doesn't think he's worth it, then why stay with him? If you're young, there a literally hundreds of people out there, including many who will like her cats and love her. As for A, I basically mean (though I feel if I have to explain what I mean, you should too for that awful sentence): - The boyfriend may not last for ever - If he does, she/ I would never be able to own cats again- not the best for someone who loves cats! And about animals love? The only difference between animal-human relationships and human-human relationships is the communication barrier. We humans are animals too, and our relationships are as much based upon security, affinity and provision as ones with animals. I raised my cat from a kitten, and when I went away to university, despite my parents treating her and feeding her, she still shows more affection to me. She also shows annoyance when I don't visit enough, turning her back on me until I've sucked up enough, and about once a week, when she's caught more rabbits than she can eat, she brings them to me as a gift. She even exhibits jealousy if I pay attention to my sisters' cat, and once attacked her for scratching me. Don't be so arrogant to assume that the relationships between animals are any less exhalted than the ones which exist between humans. All that distinguishes us is vocabulary.
Actually, if he's such a loving boyfriend, he would put up with it. If MY boyfriend said it's either him or the cats, that bitch'd be out the door. Cats ARE affectionate, most don't just see us as a food dispenser. I personally can't live without the companionship of an animal, I go into depression without one. Besides, what do you think is going to last longer, her relationship with her boyfriend, or with her two cats?
132, the jealousy of your cat is misunderstood, it is not protecting it's friend or 'mother' it is protecting it's food source, however I do understand that cats can be great for some people, but surely not better than a human. and there is way more than a simple communication barrier, no-one knows what is going on in a cats mind, and if a cat has the capacity to have friends and love other species, why are have they not evolved or somehow improved, they are obviously not as clever as you think (typos may be caused my iPod auto correct
cats are better than humans... no humans are better than cats!... no!! this is all you're going to be doing people... no one will win the argument and no one will lose. so read the fml, enjoy, and stop thinking anyone gives a flying gerbils ass about your opinion on the relationship bonds between a human and an animal. I HATE/am VERY allergic to cats and dogs and will not be with someone who has them. this is my choice. I have broken said choice but, yet again- MY CHOICE. stfu you losers and stop thinking your cool because you debate on a comment fees because your fmls can't ever make it through the moderators... NOBODY CARES. btw cat girl in the comment feed? your a fuckin loser worse than the rest of them on here. "my cat loves me mah mah mah mah mah" IT IS HUNGRY AND WANTS SOMEONE TO SCRATCH IT'S BACK AND CLEAN IT'S STINKING ASS BOX OUT NOW AND AGAIN. buy a vibrator or something.
lol I'm tagging onto one of these messages up here so you can what I'm saying... OP, you are a bitch!!!! your boyfriend had to have known you have cats, and through the night put up with his allergies for you. He likes/loves you enough to atleast tried to handle it, but couldn't. so he actually asked you to pick him so he could be with you. now you have to be a bitch and pick a pussy over a dick. have fun with your life, and I hope he finds someone better than a pussy loving bitch. lololololol
164- yes, I know their are biological/ survival reasons for my cats emotions, and my boyfriend come to that. But that's still the same. And why would a capacity to have friends/ care for other species mean enhanced development? Elephants are well known to have the same approximate familial relationships, friendships, and mourn over deaths, and the papers love it when a dog adopts a lion cub. These are all animals, just like us, but they don't dominate the world. It's our capacity as a species to adapt that did that. Oh, and I never said cats were better than people. I prefer MY cat over a lot of people. I've met cats I don't like, just like I've met people I don't like. From the sounds of it, this guy just isn't worth giving up her pets for.
Agree with #1. He doesn't have so serious allergies, since it took all night to make him start feeling bad. So he should just take a pill when getting at her house, and all should be fine. Stupid of him giving the ultimatum, stupid of the OP for picking one (either one). Y both DI. And stop being drama queens.
...and dolphins, pigs, cats, dogs, chimps... You need to get over your species arrogance. I mean the cows and sheep outside my home show significant levels of emotion to their young and their friends. Emotional intelligence is NOT connected to other kinds of intelligence- not in that way. And just because we don't know what they're saying, it doesn't mean animals aren't communicating. Oh, and congratulations that you don't know a single person that you wouldn't value a pet more than. All of your friends must be truely wonderful people.
256: That's a ridiculous comparison. Bee allergies kill people. This guy was sneezing. Allergy attacks SUCK, but they aren't lethal and there are plenty of options aside from getting rid of the cats. If he cares about her, he should at least look into prescription medications or shots. I'm guessing the real issue is jealousy; I can't think of another reason to make such a huge demand from a girlfriend he's got no long-term committment to.
Well done Op! You obviously haven't been going out with him that long so for him to demand that you make a choice like that ....I would kick him to the curb too. He is not a forgone conclusion whereas the cats are yours and will be till they die. Why should anyone be forced to make that kind of decision so early on in a relationship? There are plenty of fish in the sea and lots of them are cat lovers...or dog lovers....or hamster lovers lol. Wtg Op, you'll find someone that loves cats just as much as you and you'll both live happily ever after.
The way these comments contrast with other FMLs' is hilarious: "My boyfriend demanded sex or he'll leave": YOU IDIOT! DUMP HIM! "My boyfriend demanded I abandon my cats": YOU IDIOT! DUMP THE CATS! "I'm lonely": YOU IDIOT! GO FIND A GUY! IT'S NOT HARD! "I kept my cats and dumped my controlling boyfriend": YOU IDIOT! NOW YOU'LL BE SINGLE FOREVER!
406... NO! All I am saying is that there are animals I'd chose over humans and vice versa. That's the third time I've said this. For instance, if it were a choice between my cat and Osama Bin Laden, who would you think was worthy of death? Or if it was a choice of never seeing that friend-of-a-friend again vs a beloved pet? All I'm saying is SOME human -animal relationships are justifiably more important than some human-human ones. And for the record, I would give up my cat for my boyfriend of 3 years, but he wouldn't be the man I love if he tried to make me chose.
4, I wholeheartedly disagree with you. If my *husband* gave me that ultimatum with my dogs I'd choose the dogs. He loves them, though, as much if not more than I do, thankfully. Dogs and cats, IMO are both better than humans, and I'm allergic to cats. I owe my life and my happiness to the dogs I've had over the years.
First, bite me. Second, marriage is about compromise. A husband that uses ultimatums deserves to be left. Third, dogs are my life. I waded through shin deep mud in the rain in an inner city alleyway to capture a dog in danger last weekend with a handful of other folks. She was adopted on Tuesday to a wonderful home. It's what I am passionate about. A relationship will not work with me and a man that doesn't at least love our dogs like children. But he does; it's a non-issue. My dogs are my children. Plenty of women would choose their kids over their husbands if forced to make a choice. It's no different with me and my dogs.
From a wife's perspective marriage is about compromise. The husband must compromise his health and happiness for the wife's affection. I can hear this conversation now. Wife: I am sorry honey that you can barely breath and will live a painful and lonely life as I pour all my energy and passion into this furry little animal that could otherwise be romping around freely and also be happier in the countryside rather than a concrete jungle. Husband: Gasp it's ok dear I do not need to breath when I am in the presence of your beauty. Can we have sex now? Wife: You are insatiable! We had sex last year. Now go clean Fluffy's shit off the carpet whilst I shower Fluffy with kisses. Husband: Yes dear. Ahhhh marital bliss.
Marriage is about compromise. If your husband developed a weaken immune system that required him not to be around furry pets and there was an ultimatum issued, lose the pets or lose him, what would you do? Marriage IS about compromise, and maybe you might need to lose the furry pet. But your knee jerk reaction of My furry pets are more important than my life long partner whom I have vowed to love and cherish for the rest of our lives, well frankly I am glad I am not him. Compromise is not GTFO. Compromise is getting a fish.
212, that is a different situation and an unfair comparison. The OP has most likely had the allergies his whole life. You guys don't understand my relationship or my husband. This ultimatum would never come up or I wouldn't have married him in the first place. When my husband was still my boyfriend and went with me to see my parents, he fell asleep on the floor cuddling with their dogs. We are one in the same. He protects our dogs like he would his own children.
Yeah Ktbird... since the ultimatum with your husband and dogs will never come to fruition, your point essentially becomes moot since you (as you claim) will never have to choose between the man you love, and committed your life to and your dogs. I'm not saying the OP doesn't have it rough, since if she just realized her boyfriend has such issues with allergies, it must be a new relationship, so her choice is justified. But that you can so confidently say you'd chose one being in your life over another (be it human or animal), makes me question your marriage at the least. Not being mean, and I can completely sympathize with another dog-lover... but seriously. This was a mutual vow and decision between two beings versus one creature being bought and imprisoned/enslaved by another creature. Seriously. Look at it beyond being an "animal lover." Your stance is bordering on the sickening. Power vs Love
I'm glad FML has so many marriage counselors on hand. Seriously, you don't know me. You don't know my marriage. You don't know my dogs. One of my dogs was found shot with a shotgun and abandoned. She was pregnant and in labor for three days before someone took her to a vet. She lost her entire litter. The shotgun and puppies stressed her skin so much her insides were falling out and dragging on the ground (she's a basset hound). She was saved on the brink of death by the rescue I volunteer for. My husband and I made the commitment, contractually binding, to never let her have another homeless or shelter day in her life. If he decided to back out on that, I would choose to save her instead, not just because I love her, but because I can't stay with a man that would force her to change after all she has been through. It'd be heartless and go against my very core of beliefs. He knows how much they mean to me, and as a couple whose decided to not have kids, they mean more to us than a "bought slave". But as I already said, it's a non-issue so I don't know why everyone insists on fighting with me over it.
Ha! Really people, kt isn't going to lose this one. There's a HUUUGE difference between a spouse giving you an ultimatum and him/her developing a health problem that necessitates a course of action. Ultimatum = a *demand* made to *force* someone into a decision. They have no place in a compromise, and therefore have no place in a marriage, except for possibly a few rare situations like addiction intervention. I'd probably lose my spouse too if he gave me an ultimatum, because it's straight-up emotional blackmail and should only be used in extreme circumstances. It's a very different situation when uncontrollable factors force a decision. That happens all the time in a marriage. When it does, if the spouses are in conflict, they need to try every possible compromise to remedy their conflict and do what they can to meet both of their needs. If that's just not physically possible, then they need to MUTUALLY agree that it's time for final decisions and make them. When one spouse forces another into a difficult choice, it's likely to cause major resentment and eventually kill the relationship regardless of what gets chosen.
#239, dogs have been mankind's WILLING allies for 10,000 years, same as with cats. At about the same point in history, in vastly different locations, wolves and wild cats went to man and cut him a deal. So long as they are allies of man, their survival as a species is guaranteed in perpetuity, and in return, we get companionship and protection. Ultimately, survival as a species is the only goal. 10k years ago, we didn't exactly have the facilities or desire to be catching the little buggers, anyway.
I wholeheartedly agree with you - I read your point through all your comments as being that you wouldn't leave the ones you have in your care, and you have actually taken them in for life. A grown man is much better off alone in the world than dogs/cats/ducklings what have you, and even though this is not an issue in your marriage, I would choose the cats over the man (as op) everytime.
sorry op it sux that you chose your cats over ur bf! hope you weren't with him for a while? btw didn't he know u hbe cats or didn't you know he was allergic to cats before you guys made it official?
Bravo for keeping your cats! It's nice to see at least one person who won't dump them just because their bf is allergic.