Miscellaneous: Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if...

By Benji - 20/05/2009 19:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 544

You deserved it 7 498

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 239

You deserved it 4 254

By mumblingdope - 25/05/2016 08:52 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 948

You deserved it 1 193

By Bruce - 02/02/2012 03:11 - United States

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 500

You deserved it 3 411

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 10 129

Thanks, lady

By Anonymous - 12/10/2017 23:15

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 375

You deserved it 255

Butter fingers

By SplashOuch - 05/01/2010 17:58 - United States

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 945

You deserved it 7 191

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 679

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 534

You deserved it 2 566

By Rach - 08/06/2010 14:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 675

You deserved it 4 391

By disheshateme - 18/11/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 701

You deserved it 3 981

the_boss_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:09

its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom

Peanu_theGreat 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:08

... You were naked?

Comments

K2snow 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:00

#59 with a screen name like that, don't expect to lose it any time soon

fuckmydad 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:11

alright bro you a ******* freak and a pussy, if you can drink it it wont scold you, and if it were to scold you, ud be nalid, whihc near your mom in the usa is ****** up, work on your reflexs a bit eh? #4 is the best but you newd help buy a hpuse of your own but first learn to put pants on

MyzticHydra 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:12

LOL #4 and number 9 even if it does burn it wouldn't cause a burn mark through clothing im sure he wasnt naked either probably just in boxers

lazorzpewpew 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 17:11

Your mother is Pro! :D

lol_seriously 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 18:06

Why were you drinking coffee with your dick out... This just makes no sense at all

Lou_Briccant 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 18:47

You have penises on your legs?

tams_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 18:53

I knew Mars bars were dangerous...D:

MikesAgirl 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 19:00

ehh... dudes, you CAN get burned with clothes on AND more that half of the times the clothes sticks to ur skin.

fieryice 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 19:05

hahahah #4 and #139

imkendra 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 19:15

I cannot believe how many people assume this guy was naked. If he was wearing boxer shorts while drinking his morning coffee, it's easy to see how this could have happened. Boxer shorts are so thin and flimsy that they offer nothing but modesty. Dump piping hot coffee over your lap wearing nothing but boxers. See what happens. Anyone who jumps to the conclusion he had to have been naked, with no other more likely scenarios, has a lack of logic and reasoning skills.