Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
the_boss_fml 0
its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom
Peanu_theGreat 0
... You were naked?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (220)
K2snow 0
#59 with a screen name like that, don't expect to lose it any time soon
fuckmydad 0
alright bro you a ******* freak and a pussy, if you can drink it it wont scold you, and if it were to scold you, ud be nalid, whihc near your mom in the usa is ****** up, work on your reflexs a bit eh? #4 is the best but you newd help buy a hpuse of your own but first learn to put pants on
MyzticHydra 0
LOL #4 and number 9 even if it does burn it wouldn't cause a burn mark through clothing im sure he wasnt naked either probably just in boxers
lazorzpewpew 0
Your mother is Pro! :D
lol_seriously 0
Why were you drinking coffee with your dick out... This just makes no sense at all
Lou_Briccant 0
You have penises on your legs?
tams_fml 0
I knew Mars bars were dangerous...D:
MikesAgirl 0
ehh... dudes, you CAN get burned with clothes on AND more that half of the times the clothes sticks to ur skin.
fieryice 0
hahahah #4 and #139
imkendra 0
I cannot believe how many people assume this guy was naked. If he was wearing boxer shorts while drinking his morning coffee, it's easy to see how this could have happened. Boxer shorts are so thin and flimsy that they offer nothing but modesty. Dump piping hot coffee over your lap wearing nothing but boxers. See what happens. Anyone who jumps to the conclusion he had to have been naked, with no other more likely scenarios, has a lack of logic and reasoning skills.