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  knibbsy  |  4

Cats are evil. They're also worthless, so one of my part-time jobs is scouring classifieds in the paper to look for free kittens, which I then sell to local Chinese restaurants. I'm sure they are treated very ethically as loved ones of the family to the Chinese, but since they're always calling me up to see if I can sell them more cats, they must have a huge, happy family!