Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML
Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
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Top comments
syki 22
So he was suddenly dumb, humourless, overweight, and ugly?
zoPwNAgEzo 21
What a jerk off
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Comments (63)
kemando 22
Well, he's athletic right?
bamberbear 0
That just means he likes you:)
onebigkaboom 10
Prude
maunaimer 6
I think that implies a certain amount I disrespect. If you are dating that's one thing but to talk to you sexually as a friend is inappropriate. Kudos to him on the honesty part, but that level of personal information shouldn't be so openly shared....if he texts you like that and your not in a relationship, who else does he do it with? I agree FYL
massacreman3000 1
shallow you are...
LadyGore 12
My boyfriend admitted he did a lot before we started having sex every night. It's a guy thing, don't let that change the fact that you think he's an amazing guy. Thats just being judgmental.
chrispasta 3
I don't think the problem is that he was masturbating. It's the manner in which the info was delivered. Him being a male doesn't justify having no class/manners. That absolutely would change how attractive I perceive someone .
caviar_fml 2
Most (if not all) guys do it, so if you're trying to find one that doesn't you're going to be looking for a while...
perdix 31
There's only one guy who is smart, funny, athletic and cute who doesn't jack off, but he is taken by Barbie. Ken also has no genitals.
babyshaft408 8
At least he told u. U ********** too