Intimacy: Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny,...

By idrathernotgiveoutmyname - 31/01/2012 02:50 - Canada

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 916

You deserved it 8 873

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Me - 31/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 653

You deserved it 3 169

Let down

By MoxyR12 - 24/06/2009 15:33 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 802

You deserved it 5 707

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 066

You deserved it 7 760

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 452

You deserved it 42 911

By automaticfail_00 - 17/06/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 087

You deserved it 5 059

By DreeStahr - 30/09/2016 04:05 - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 1 377

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 338

You deserved it 17 891

By JennyAndrews - 05/12/2009 08:44 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 167

You deserved it 31 102

By lonelyandbored - 31/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 11 192

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 4 257

syki 22

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:12

So he was suddenly dumb, humourless, overweight, and ugly?

zoPwNAgEzo 21

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:12

What a jerk off

Comments

Shadow_Phantom 26

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:40

FYL, I guess? I personally don't see what the problem is here. Most guys do it all the time.

RedMosquito 4

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:43

Wait a second, I have something profound to say, just let me finish jerking off first. Ahhhhh. What were we talking about?

danni218 1

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:44

I find it hot...tell him u can help ;)

AugustBurnsToast 14

Tuesday 31 January 2012 9:34

That's the spirit lol ;)

iseyixes 18

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:45

He was just comfortable talking to you. That's a good thing.

ThecomingofTan 9

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:47

At least it was through texting and not a phone call. That would have been even better.

YouSlutt 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:49

even when they'll ask for a naked picture , Smh . . .

Fmlsea 28

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:51

Least he likes ya and get use to it ,it's apart of life .

meruu_2005 1

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:53

Every guy does it I don't get why females are upright about it There's worse things he could be doing

HITide76808 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:54

He was showing his affection towards u. lol

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:55

He's smart, funny, cute, athletic and loves ****.

Keywords

Awkward Love Embarrassing Public freakouts Weddings Family AITA Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sexism Kids Work Relatable Mental health Growing old Health Cats Animals Periods Job interview Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Phobias Spiders Ironic Bikes

The Top

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 274

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 568

You deserved it 2 470

The Top

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 6 369

Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 90

Today, I was working on a painting and went to take a sip of my tea. Instead, I took a swig of paint water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 234

Today, I've lost so much weight from depression that I don't fit into women's clothing anymore. There's nothing like trying to find dress pants in the kids section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 121

Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 638

You deserved it 15 338

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 731

You deserved it 5 533

Same thing different taste

Let down

Top comments

Comments