By dumb mother - 31/01/2012 02:34 - United States

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 012
You deserved it 5 059

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Hey, I heard that if you stand too close to the microwave you can get cancer from the radiation in those things. You should probably stay away from them...

I wonder how much 'kimotherapy' costs? Less than chemotherapy, perhaps?


SettoFail 9


She probably got it from that one south park episode, your mom is so gullible.

A100893 30

Through her reasoning, it seems the radiation has already killed half of her brain cells.

GovernorGeneral 8

Baha my mother once (ok more than once) yelled at me for looking at the microwave straight on xD

You would have to spend an absolutely ludicrous amount of time in front of the microwave before you run the risk of nuking your 'nads. Scientifically speaking, of course.

afunnyterdcody 5

I do it so my girlfriend doesnt get prego

Someone wants to have grandchildren ;-).

Aren't the older microwaves dangerous because of radiation? And where do you think southpark got it from?

Hunthas 17

Micro radiation actually does both those things... Standing beside it probably won't do it but sleeping on microwaves that are turned on for a few months probably wi

Sounds Legit.

1- If I had a dollar...

a lol of the radiation does get out nut much though and don't open door before bell is up

You just said a lot gets out... Not much though. That statement contradicts itself??

My mom still tells me that, but she's not worried about grand kids just kimo bills

I wonder how much 'kimotherapy' costs? Less than chemotherapy, perhaps?

Apparently she isn't worried about you being educated either... It's CHEMO not kimo lmfao

Oh, please. It could be a personal spelling preference. Some people do have a preference to how they uniquely spell words with certain letterings/pronunciations while knowing that it isn't the conventional spelling... Look at 2's name, for instance :I

tweetbaby14 18

52, maybe they just didn't know how to spell chemo, and you didn't need to try and tell a story about "spelling preferences" because you can't justify stupidity? Just maybe though.

Calm down, y'all. Kikikat had probably never seen it written. Maybe she had misunderstood "chemo" for a medical term or a term from another language and spelled it as it sounded because she didn't know it was an abbreviated form of "chemical."

52, your comment put me to sleep

You know, some people might take serious offense to that comment...

You know, your comment was pointless?

Hey, I heard that if you stand too close to the microwave you can get cancer from the radiation in those things. You should probably stay away from them...

Ladies! For that morning after unprotected sex with a douche, just stand by a microwave to destroy all his little good-for-nothing sperm. Cheaper than Plan-B

Microwaves do use radiation, I think, to heat your food. It's just a type that is not really harmful to you. I don't think you would even have a chance to get cancer unless you stood right next to it while it was microwaving for like twenty years straight.

The radiation from microwaves is harmful, but the lead mesh keeps it in the microwave, so no damage can be done if the microwave is intact.

Microwaves are bloody dangerous you hear! The radiation will cause your brain to melt out of your ears!!! But seriously though as the young bloke above me said if the microwave is intact and good working order there is a reduced risk in radiation from the microwave triggering cancer.

All radiations are bad! It just depends on the quantity or type!

Actualy microwaves use microwaves which are on the opposite side of the light spectrum then radiation like gamma rays. It's by the type we use in heat lamps.

Lol microwaves use microwaves... Thanks 68 good to know. Anyway microwaves have the perfect combination of the low penetration of alpha particles combined with the low intensity of gamma. However, all radiation is bad for you, but the plastic covering on your microwave is enough to stop most of the waves. Ur better off next to ur microwave than in the sun.

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

32- Yeah that makes sense and all; the lead mesh keeps radiation inside the microwave. Wait a second! What else is in the microwave? Oh yes, your food. The same food that has been exposed to the radiation is now being consumed by you. Maybe we should start rethinking hot pockets.

Microwave radiation is dangerous, and small amounts do seep out of the microwave. It's impossible to keep it all in. My bf is a physicist and won't even own a microwave for this reason, after studying this stuff and knowing how they work.

detroitsucks247 3

X-rays are radiation, Microwaves are Microwaves not radiation they may not be the best thing for you but they wont cause cancer. microwaves are next on the scale after radiowaves (short radiowaves) and then iltraviolet light after microwaves so they are not deadly.

Unless you manage to shove your balls into the microwave while it's on, then you should be fine.

Yes, microwaves to use radiation. Its called electromagnetic radiation and its the same kind of energy that visible light is. Its just a different frequency. The frequency of the radiation a microwave uses is the frequency that resonates with water, which is in all the food you put in it. The electromagnetic radiation in the microwave causes the water molecules to vibrate, therefore heating up your food. Which is why some spots in the microwave don't heat up your food (the nodes in the wave pattern don't move the water particles). The radiation is only INSIDE the microwave. Things outside the microwave don't heat up as well. You're perfectly safe. My dad believes they'll give you cancer too. But honestly, the electromagnetic radiation you should be afraid of is the kind that comes from the sun. THAT can give you cancer, so wear sunscreen and don't worry about your microwave. It won't hurt you. However, I stand away from it anyway because I dislike the smell it gives off.

The microwaves are too big to escape from it. You know that perforated screen inside the microwave? That keeps the radiation from getting out.

No, no, she's got it all backwards. It'll kill your *cancer* and give you *sperm.* Moneyshot!

At least now you know she cares that much for you :)

baybeegirrrl95 5

Where the hell did she hear that?

Thelnternet 7


South Park, for sure

Or The Office

When microwaves first came out (which op's mom would remember), they did give off a lot of radiation and everyone was told not to stand in front of them while they were cooking. More modern microwaves are safer and give off less radiation. However, your body continues to accumulate radiation when exposed to it, so you should still be cautious. OP's family could own an older microwave, in which case his mom is absolutely right to be cautious. Up until last year, my family used a microwave from 1984. I guarantee it wasn't particularly safe.

93 - no your body can not accumulate microwave radiation, unless your so fat you cause a singularity. It's low energy light, the light bulb in the microwave actually gives off more energetic radiation. All microwaves can do is induce currents in conductors and cause polar molecules to rotate. Your body falls into latter category as you are mostly water, so all a microwave can do is heat you up. It can NOT ionize your atoms, it can't mutate your DNA an it can't accumulate and poison you. Other radiation such as high energy light (UV, X-ray, gamma) or alpha or beta particles can ionize your atoms and cause mutations such as cancer. When you accumulate radiation it is because you accumulate radioactive elements that emit these radiations when they decay. This is the danger of nuclear waste, not bouncing gamma radiation from the initial reaction lasting for long periods of time. Your microwave emits none of these unless you go and try to microwave uranium 235 or something stupid like that.

I never said your body accumulates radiation from the microwave; simply that it does accumulate radiation. My point being that people have to be cautious of how much radiation they are exposed to; every x-ray at the doctor, every pass through the airport body scanners, everything in our lives that we don't think about adds up. For most people, it's still harmless, but it's still important to BE AWARE.

deathfyre8 13

A typical human can stand about 5000 units of radiation before you turn into a glowing puddle.

when u see 2 smart ppl arguing with scientific terms ....

That's what happened to me /:

rciccone 0

sperm or cancer?

xaer0babiix0 0

What? You turned into a car? Damn, I'm gonna stick my little brother in front of the microwave next time...

My father always ends up telling me that, though it could just be his paranoia. OP, I would just listen to your mother. It doesn't hurt to stand a few feet away from the microwave.

My dad tells me that too. He also says cell phones will give you cancer. That you'll get brain cancer from holding it up to your ear to talk. I don't believe any of it. I know how microwaves and cellphones work. You can learn too on youtube, there's plenty of educational sites.

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Only if you can successfully close your balls in the microwave. But then you can smoke all the pot you want. Anywhere.

SettoFail 9

South park, ?

Start bouncing around town on ur balls smoking pot with ur friends LOL

But we don't want all the KFCs to go away

Haha medicinal KFC!!

stevenJB 25

Oh the parents of our generation are to blame for our stupidity I guess?...?

Radiation is awesome, stand there long enough and you will be able to fly.

Comet_Candy 23

You will also be able to glow in the dark.