Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML
Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
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Top comments
syki 22
So he was suddenly dumb, humourless, overweight, and ugly?
zoPwNAgEzo 21
What a jerk off
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Comments (63)
NippsSlipps 10
Like you OP have never done anything remotely disgusting or embarrassing. (not that jacking off is disgusting) Tons of girls do it as well, and suddenly your opinion changed about him just for stating he did what other tons of guys do? You deserve it, if you think jacking off makes someone the opposite of funny, cute and all that shit.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
It's the fact that he was Jerkin his terkin as he was texting her AND than told her he was doing the dirty deed...
NippsSlipps 10
I doubt he was honestly jerking off while texting her. Unless he was awesome at texting with one hand.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Lol it's possible on certain cellphones :P
NippsSlipps 10
That is....something I'll have to check into.
Ins_Knie 2
Maybe voice control? "Ooh aah" - text reply gets generated: "Sorry, he's busy wanking". Technology these days...
zebrastripez13 0
That means he likes you too! Take atvantage of it;)
robo_thunder 13
I don't think op is grossed out that he jacks off. I think she finds it gross he is sharing this information. I know I would.
icxiibunnie 14
All I can say is, it doesn't change who he is just because he has sexual desires. Even if sometime it's best not to know but, at least he was being honest. You should realize that it's normal for a guy to ********** and even girls do too. Just not everyone is upfront about it. OP, you should grasp onto reality and realize that guys have sexual needs, but that doesn't mean they can't be smart, athletic, cute or funny.
teamsleep2212 0
He was just messing around
lrgenesis 19
How'd what change? I'm so confused..
DWeth 0
95% of dudes jack off. The other 5% are liars.
CRC_101 31
I'm half and half on this one. For some girls "vulgarity" is a turn-off, and that's their right. At the same time, sounds like the guy has an interesting sense of humor, and he's being straight-forward too, which can be quite the good attribute. If you want to stop liking him for it, he's better off without you. I'd suggest not being quite so uptight about the natural parts of our lives though! ^_~ He could very well be a winner. Masturbating doesn't change that.
Zeus1070 17
OP is just irrational.
zeromarth 2
So what grow up, would he rather he be dishonest about it and say your farts dont stink!! he is honest meaning he wont hid anything from you