Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML
Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
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Top comments
syki 22
So he was suddenly dumb, humourless, overweight, and ugly?
zoPwNAgEzo 21
What a jerk off
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Comments (63)
Clamcreepy 7
Hes smart,funny, athletic, cute and also honest too so really it sounds like you found your self a keeper. Snatch him up before he starts jerking off to another girl's snatch
Bailey929 1
I've had that happen to me too! It's gross!): c):
tulo26 4
Awh that means he likes you..
no_neck_joe 0
I tell everybody I'm either whackin it, balls deep in a dirty, dirty hooker, or beating defenseless baby seals with a club when they ask me what I'm doing. it's a joke like 37% of the time though, maybe this was one of those times with him
dalla25 6
id be more worried if he didnt jack off love...although im not sure whether your issue is that he was actually doing this or that he told you...
Ugi 27
I can't see why that changes all his other attributes. It's hard to tell the context from an FML but he's a guy - if he finds you exciting then that type of thing will happen. You might think it's a bit early for him to be telling you but he's not likely to if he didn't like you too so in many ways its a good sign. Of course he might just be an ass but from what you say it doesn't sound like it. You might want to think about what it actually is that you want from a relationship with a guy at the moment. If you are looking for a guy who is smart, funny, cute, athletic and asexual then you are in for a tough time. Ultimately it's the desire to reproduce that drives men and women together in most cases and it tends to be rather less subtle in young men than young women. I forget who said it, but it's very true: Girls play a sex, but what they really want is love. Boys play at love, but what they really want is sex.
PYLrulz 17
And creepy. Don't forget creepy.
jackdaniel61709 0
Guys joke.. I joked like that with my ex
mistersir123 3
What is the big deal?!
HiImJordan 5
It's not bad if he was jacking off to you xD