Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML
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Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while on a date with an amazing guy, I burped. He called me a disgusting pig and immediately left. I have burped a total of three times in my life and have therefore never learned how to control it. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML
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Top comments
ilovesuju 10
the fart fmls are always the funniest
SandiRainbowFish 20
Wow, like he never farts. What an ass. You deserve better, OP!
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Comments (200)
StoryOfTheYear 15
40- If he didn't tolerate a fart I assume that he wouldn't talk to her at all in the first place if she was high.
gloria89108 1
Attention : WOMEN do not fart !!!! Ever !!! ( they fluff ) hahahhahaha
dellis44 7
well you are a girl, that automatically means you're gonna attract douchebags. my advice, go find a nice guy, don't make him your best friend, and date him. nice guys are getting more and more scarce. you better snatch one up asap!
Discombobulated9 12
I don't know, I dated a 'nice guy' and after a year he turned into an obsessive asshole. You can never truly know someone until you've been with them for a while; it's just the luck of the draw.
xNiiiiiCKx 4
yeah that so lady like... your a disgusting woman, be polite... pig...
broadwaybrian 2
You can fart in my face girl I won't trip ;)
fishereric 1
You agreed to date him, it's partially your fault for the dating idiots part.
moniquemonique 0
What exactly did you expect to happen?? If I was him I would've dumped your ass on the spot.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Really? You would dump someone just because of a normal bodily function? How shallow of you. ._.
wdawson1970 4
I agree lady , I have dumped a few women for this. It's gross I don't do it in front of them and expect the same respect! She is a pig!
little_one 20
I blame genetics but I fart I can't help it and if you live with someone you both have to fart sometime. Apparently I even fart when I sleep, so just laugh about it and move on or be very careful what you eat but, holding in a fart sucks. FYL and **** him.
dominic1221 6
"I, being a smart guy"?! Arrogance ain't a turn-on, sleaze-ball. Kick it down a few notches and maybe the girls won't vomit at the thought of you. I give you this advice cause I care.
EduJav321 24
Its kinda funny how HE is the one complaining about it considering its usually the girl complaining about the guy farting while the guy finds it funny if the girl does it... Unless he goes by the whole 'girls dont poop' thing