Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while on a date with an amazing guy, I burped. He called me a disgusting pig and immediately left. I have burped a total of three times in my life and have therefore never learned how to control it. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML
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Top comments
ilovesuju 10
the fart fmls are always the funniest
SandiRainbowFish 20
Wow, like he never farts. What an ass. You deserve better, OP!
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Comments (200)
Caliborn_06 11
You sound vulgar and unladylike. Which is very unattractive. I don't blame him at all. YDI
Bekll 31
You'd be better off with a blown up sex doll then, because all girls pass gas.
baddawg365 0
To those who thumbed me down it was an earlier FML where a girl said she was so high she farted and her BF had jus walked in and she tried to blame it on the bird.
baddawg365 0
85- Are you kidding me? A chick ripping ass is different from smoking weed or smoking period. I mean how do you come up with that conclusion?
BenTaz 7
Farting is a natural thing. Do it loudly and proudly :) Besides, they sound so damn funny XD
mightymart 5
I like the fact that you used the word ******** to describe him when talking about a fart FML, so poetic
Helenarth 6
And here we have a classic case of Nice Guy Syndrome.
blackvyper 8
Wherever you may be let your wind blow free 'cause that's what killed my granny.
PoeSG1 0
Hell, everyone does it... Sometimes it can't be helped. If you gotta go, you gotta go! On another note, all i seem to date are cheating bitches so look me up. :-p
vman769 0
Disgusting and not sexy at all. Yeah we all do it, but a woman should preserve the sexiness. Probably would have reacted the same way as your bf myself. ;-)
robc32ca 4
Why are you blaming the guys? You're the common denominator here!