By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 16:46 - Ireland - Bagenalstown

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 105
You deserved it 14 854

Same thing different taste

Top comments

the fart fmls are always the funniest

Wow, like he never farts. What an ass. You deserve better, OP!


the fart fmls are always the funniest

bertman21 5

I agree especially when it's girls farting

xoconnie 8

every1 farts, he is one of the biggest losers ever. that must have been really, really loud unless u were on speaker phone...

I def see another fml about Hearing a fart on the phone

You're right, i see lots where someone lets one rip at an interview or just meeting the in-laws. That's certainly not proffessional but people need to lern to loosen up and understand people make mistakes and we're all human and need to fart and can't always control it.

Okay. Sooo... From this I can tell 5 things. 1. Your hot. 2. You have a lot of guys in the friend zone. 3. You like most girls go for the hot, jock, rebels. 4. You pick, em and they dick ya. 5. You have been in an abusive relationship.

egc573 40

What? Who are you talking about, 47? I'm really confused.

How the hell did you get THAT from the FML #47?

37 - i think people loosening up a bit too much are a reason for these accidental fart FMLs

VIPwhenever 15

Ilovesuju you are a kpop fan that's awesome I rarely see any kpop fans on here

blissmarie 6

VIPwhenever - Oh my god please stop doing that. I know you're just really stoked to see some fellow kpop fans on here as well but no one really cares. ( I meant to say that in the nicest way possible. Here's a smiley to prove it :) )

There's nothing remotely "nice" about what you just said. It was just plain bitchy. So what if he's excited? Does it really bother you that much, Ms. Debby Downer?

VIPwhenever 15

If you don't care or no one cares then why did you reply to it why waste your breath for something no one cares about?

beelee1988 13

27- I was thinking the same thing. I thought this was one that was somehow re-posted.

MrBoredGuy 1

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SystemofaBlink41 27

She wouldn't want to ruin the friendship.

ferrousWheel 6

Yeah, right. THAT'S why she wouldn't do it. If tomorrow one of them was suddenly much more attractive, she wouldn't think a moment longer about the "friendship". They call it the friend zone for a reason.

^ People like you make misogynistic generalizations like that, then you wonder why you're "friend-zoned." Hahaha! Hint: girls aren't just objects to own or stick your 2-inch dick into.

ferrousWheel 6

I'm a girl, and believe me, it happens both ways. I'm not singling out women by any means. But to deny that looks isn't a factor in it is absolutely naive and dishonest. Besides, I never said it was necessarily a bad thing to go for looks. Shallow as hell, but not bad. You reap what you sow, after all.

Sure it happens both ways, but that's like saying a lot of humans kill each other. There's assholes everywhere. I'm just sick of hearing so-called guys bitching about being "friend-zoned", cause the truth of the matter is that the majority of the people I've heard bitching about it are really just creepy weirdos anyway, who see girls as objects to control and make dependent on them. It's sick. No means no.

ferrousWheel 6

Please don't slam me for generalizing if you're going to generalize yourself. And don't use the word "bitch" as a verb when talking about misogyny. And how is people killing each other a sound analogy to what I was saying? How is that an answer to my argument? Are you saying that, like killing and assholes, the friend-zone exists? If you're acknowledging that it exists, it seems a little cold to slam, and generalize, men (and women) who get put in it constantly. Rejection isn't just for the creeps. Or maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. Ah, well. I'm done here. Let the rain of down-voting descend, but at least I got to say what I feel I had to.

You had me at "the word bitch is misogynistic". I won't waste my time. Bottom line is if you "need" to have a girlfriend or boyfriend to feel good or secure about yourself, much less to stop you whining about how unfair it is that someone doesn't want to give their life up just cause you're infatuated with them, then you've got problems and shouldn't be around people anyway.

Why do guys get so angry for being 'friend-zoned'? If she's not interested, then she's not interested and if you don't like being a friend, then quit being such instead of bitching about it. We all get turned down every now and then, just move on. Guys complaining about 'friend-zoning' always make it sound like women never experience the same thing.

I'm just wondering where this phrase "friend-zone" started. Now roll with me on this. I speculate it's from today's sex crazed society. Everywhere you look someone is selling something to improve sex or they're selling sex. Hell, I've heard so many people my own age talk about it as if its just something to do JUSTfor fun, and not very personal act of two people. But it's not. Sex is not to be taken lightly. Anyway that was my "friend zone"/sex/prostitution conspiracy theory.

cradle6 13

lol what a mean and untrue generalization about friendzoned guys. Most of the guys I've known that had friendzone issues were the shy ones who were usually too chicken to make a move on the girls they liked soon enough. All pretty nice guys as far as I remember. The ones who saw women as objects did not have a friendzone problem, quite the contrary. They'd either be the douchebags who hit on every single girl at parties or the creeps that girls wouldn't even talk to. My advice to friendzoned guys would be to make your intentions known immediately. Be a man. And if a girl says she only likes you like a friend, end the friendship (not meanly by any means, but if you want something romantic and she doesn't, move on).

the_anti_hipster 7

87--YES!! I totally agree. Sometimes you just have to fight for what you want. If you feel that strongly about someone, go for it. You have nothing to lose. Friend-zoned can be a bitch place to be, but it's not a life sentence. Try it. She may be feeling the same way and just waiting for you to speak up.

I don't understand the whole friend-zone thing. Is it that hard to realise that you might like people, but not want to date them? And 87, "end the friendship"? Seriously? That's not gonna help you get a date.

Girls can be put into the "friend zone" as well, but that's just another way of saying that the guy isn't interested in them in a romantic way. People get rejected. Shit happens. :(

gabe222 25

Where does friend zoning have to do with the FML of her boyfriend not speaking to her cuz she farted lol. Not trying to troll, just madly off topic. Anyway, everyone farts, sorry your boyfriend is just too immature to grasp that concept.

Ninjasaurus18 9

20- Shallow=Bad. Stupid bitch. And, looks are a factor. Who doesn't want to be attracted to the person they're dating? Who wants to date Fat Bastard from Austin Powers? So yes, looks are a factor. But shouldn't be the only thing. Like with Twilight. That (and smell) are the only thing their relashionship depends on.

Ninjasaurus18 9

132, considering 2 stated a comment about friend zoning, the previous comments are perfectly acceptable.

egc573 40

140: I disagree. While 20 is quite wrong on a few things, her opinion that shallow =/= bad is not one of them. If it was, then every single fan of the Twilight series (the most popular shallow romance of the decade) is a bad person. Every single one. Don't get me wrong, shallow people can be annoying and incredibly immature, but are they bad? No. (And 20, I hope you don't take this philosophy with you out in the real world. Your cynicism might be business-as-usual on FML, but it makes for a lonely life outside of it.)

xd3box 4

Shrike, when guys describe the friend zone, they are speaking of good guys who get put into it. Weirdos are the exception. They are the people who are in the friend zone for a reason. Good guys are usually put in by circumstance. I'm talking legitimate friends who haven't thought of dating one another. Then the guy finds that he is attracted to her in his teen years, but the girl is still not seeing him as a boyfriend. Not because of how he looks, but because of what they have been in past times. That's my description of the friend zone.

xXRazelleLuniiXx 9

As a girl who has been "friend-zoned" and has done the same to some awesome, amazing people, I just want to say that you friend zone somebody because everybody has seperate preferances and some people just aren't who you are looking for. That doesn't mean that you don't care about them, it's that you find them appealing in a non-romantic way, or you just haven't seen them in that light. I married my best friend who was "friend zoned" by me for years before we finally established a relationship, and that was when I WASN'T looking. I realized the amazing qualities in him that I hadn't noticed before, because I was so desperate. Point on point is I seemed to be looking for arse-holes. The point is, when you are so desperate as to the point where you constantly need to be in a relationship, you are going to get a crappy relationship. It happens. But sometimes, when you actually look in the right places or just let life happen, you can fall into the brightest spots. I know from experiance :)

Wow, like he never farts. What an ass. You deserve better, OP!

Well, if he's an ass it must be hell for him to fart and OP just brought back memories.

aruam365 24

Why bother dating someone so finicky? If you ever hope to have biological children, you should know that most women defecate during childbirth and I'd assume you would want your partner to be present, so dating someone who can't handle a fart isn't an amazing idea.

the_anti_hipster 7

Totally agree. Like he doesnt fart?! Everybody farts and sometimes it just happens. Now, if you were ripping a nasty one at your child's communion prayer, that'd be one thing...FYL for dating a douche.

This fml can't be true. Girls don't fart or poo, duhh

If he can't put up with the bad... He CERTAINLY doesn't deserve the good!

Jessj958 19

Agreed. I wonder if guys will ever stop being immature and realize that EVERYBODY has embarrassing body functions they sometimes can't control. I met a guy once who swore that girls don't poop!

You keep using that word.. I don't think you know what that means.

22, that's ridiculous. Everybody poops, the only difference is that girls only poop rose petals and rainbows, right? ... RIGHT?!

Vaginabutter 15

Wait! Girls poop? When did this happen?

OhDearBetrayal 25

Please google the definition of hypocrisy before you use it.

I think 6 was referring to the fact that most guys fart aloud whenever they please and the guy in the fml most likely does the same, therefore making this guy a hypocrite.

OhDearBetrayal 25

33- The guy in the FML was mad that she farted while they were talking. He wasn't mad about her farting in general because obviously we all know everyone farts. It was rude of her to do so while talking to him, which is why he isn't a hypocrite because he didn't rip a big one while talking to her.

45- Don't you think he was being a little out of line though?

OhDearBetrayal 25

74- He could have been nicer. Who doesn't fart, really?

45- He called her a pig. That sounds more like he was referring to the fart in general, not in context. He's clearly one of those guys who wants his girlfriend to be a perfect, delicate flower instead of a real person.

I haven't met a man yet that doesn't let one rip from time to time in front of their significant other. What an ass though.

Actually, in 8 years with my BF the only time I've heard him 'let one rip' is in his sleep. I still wonder how he manages that. I'm a sheep..

^ you are so lucky. My boyfriend finds his comedy in inflicting his farts upon me unfortunately.

I do this almost all the time when I get ready for bed in front of my wife. Sometimes I rip some really smelly ones and she goes and lights up a candle that she keeps handy for just such an occasion.

Michele2luv 8

WTF. He does realize that women fart too, right? o.O

raybillionbongen 0
perdix 29

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Strike one - who doesn't fart loud sometimes Strike two - it was an accident how could OP mute it of she didn't know it was happening Strike three - the jerk hung up before OP could say anything Just a few problems with your strikes

perdix 29

Too bad, I'm the umpire and you're outta here!


You should take a shit in the heating/AC system in his car