Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle...

By pissedchick

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle of nowhere and have a 4-hour drive home. FML

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Dangling modifier

Season finale

Fresh air

By Anonymous - 13/8/2020 14:01

Put the booze down

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks

517

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1903

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By Anonymous - United States - Eugene

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34145

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By vikts - Luxembourg - Olm

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23184

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By Anonymous - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30630

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By neverakid - United States

Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27968

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By fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc - Denmark - Herning

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51014

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By Anonymous - United States - Quincy

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

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60279

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By soldiergirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he "can't date someone who supports the war". We started dating because he thought I looked cute in my uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35997

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By crossfitter

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25197

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Argentina

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48653

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4816

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By Anonymous - 23/5/2020 17:00

Tense

Today, my dad happened to mention he proposed to his girlfriend I had no idea he was dating. Turns out it's one of my old high school teachers, specifically the bitch who hated me as much as I hated her. My dad is so oblivious, he has no idea WWIII is about to start in our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1803

You deserved it

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By SMV - France

Today, my company was having a huge party. I got to work dressed in my best outfit. At the the lunch break my boss told me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

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31698

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By Anonymous - United States - Hillsboro

Today, after much reflection, I realized my "happy childhood" was more like "the years I was oblivious to how much people despised me." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21529

You deserved it

2080

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

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64349

You deserved it

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By ::Tracy:: - Australia

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

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41643

You deserved it

5809

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By lizzard0416 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36842

You deserved it

9940

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By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38203

You deserved it

4678

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By Dizzie Rascal - United Kingdom

Today, I made spaghetti bolognese for three people. Of those three people, only one got food poisoning. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14268

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1722

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37101

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By praise the prenup - United States - Delaware

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36702

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3016

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By smokeysarah94 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33312

You deserved it

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By eggs - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53243

You deserved it

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By Genius

Today, I went to my fifth job interview in a month. While going over my CV, I found a watermark on the bottom of my cover letter that said it was generated by a template website. Yep, I gave all previous interviewers the same cover letter, with the same watermark. Can't wait to hear back! FML

I agree, your life sucks

705

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1777

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By sdauner - United States

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29137

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By Depressed and clueless - United States - Manhattan

Today, after months of being told I'm just being paranoid, my hallmates admitted and proved that there really is a dorm-wide conspiracy to socially isolate me. I don’t know what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3456

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185

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By liltravol23 - United States

Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25103

You deserved it

4583

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By showerstupid - United States

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks

81293

You deserved it

44613

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By Ain't going nowhere - United States - Chicago

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27287

You deserved it

1838

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By Lovestupid - Australia

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11972

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat across from a cute boy in my English class. I thought it was cute when he winked at me, so I laughed and winked back. I didn't understand why he shot me a dirty look, until I later found out he has eyelid spasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34825

You deserved it

6790

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By anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30467

You deserved it

3093

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By ChocoMilkManG - United States

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47174

You deserved it

17928

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By ohsosad - United States

Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14065

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, I was playing card games with some colleagues a won a hand. One mate said jokingly "your mother never loved you!", I replied jokingly "at least your mother loved me"... All of a sudden he punched in the face and said, "don't ever disrespect my mother again". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3147

You deserved it

647

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By ohmygod - United States

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43314

You deserved it

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By Peter Parker - United States - Redlands

Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16132

You deserved it

1847

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By CB4 - United States

Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49523

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Germany

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32788

You deserved it

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By stevenr579 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33843

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 15/1/2021 23:01

And I Oop

Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML

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338

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Top comments

By Lurker1 | 9

#7829546 - Thursday 8 August 2019 0:22

You mean YOU have a 4 hour drive home. He has a 3 day walk lol

By RichardPencil | 29

#7829435 - Wednesday 7 August 2019 16:52

If you dumped his body out there, no one will ever find it.

Jus’ sayin’

COMMENTS

By MidnaLink | 32

#7829413 - Wednesday 7 August 2019 15:38

I don’t suppose you’d have been willing to leave him there?

By RichardPencil | 29

#7829435 - Wednesday 7 August 2019 16:52

If you dumped his body out there, no one will ever find it.

Jus’ sayin’

By slowhandjp | 16

#7829527 - Wednesday 7 August 2019 23:14

It's gonna be the longest 4 hours ever in your life😖

By Lurker1 | 9

#7829546 - Thursday 8 August 2019 0:22

You mean YOU have a 4 hour drive home. He has a 3 day walk lol

By nonameDE | 10

#7829553 - Thursday 8 August 2019 1:07

Do the best out of it and have some separation Sex the 4 hours back...

By misswilwarin96 | 11

#7829572 - Thursday 8 August 2019 4:34

We were in the middle of a 3 day vacation when he told me he cheated on me.

By bigdaddyeric | 30

#7829580 - Thursday 8 August 2019 6:11

Tell “HIM” to start walking, falking cheater!!

By themetropolitan | 17

#7830891 - Tuesday 13 August 2019 0:54

Who's gonna drive you home tonight ?