Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle...

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Lightning Bolt

By LightningRod - 18/10/2021 11:00

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 33

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 134

07/08/2019 14:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle of nowhere and have a 4-hour drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 117

Skyped out

Suspicious Minds

That's awkward

27/10/2009 22:24

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 912

You deserved it 43 998

15/02/2012 11:09

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 202

You deserved it 2 996

07/03/2010 17:41

Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 833

You deserved it 3 517

04/04/2009 16:15

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 472

You deserved it 158 175

09/09/2018 03:30

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 840

You deserved it 212

31/05/2010 11:59

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 124

You deserved it 35 880

26/06/2013 20:33

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 655

You deserved it 5 081

21/12/2010 09:38

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 005

You deserved it 43 099

29/07/2013 07:54

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 336

You deserved it 9 977

25/10/2013 17:20

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 3 414

24/11/2015 17:45

Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 635

You deserved it 1 741

10/12/2008 03:09

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 522

You deserved it 2 846

24/11/2012 13:54

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 065

You deserved it 12 458

21/11/2013 22:30

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 95 513

16/10/2013 18:48

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 028

You deserved it 16 195

14/10/2009 20:19

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 180

You deserved it 38 299

18/01/2009 21:57

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 33 012

05/11/2014 16:54

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 767

You deserved it 2 881

12/03/2015 16:29

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 372

You deserved it 3 019

How Soon is Now?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 12:59

Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 1 687

10/04/2012 04:41

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 119

You deserved it 5 735

26/12/2010 01:38

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 632

You deserved it 5 883

The patriarchy rules

By hyphen - 09/12/2020 18:01

Today, I was talking to a new friend when I told him my last name. It’s hyphenated. He then left and declared me to be a "stuck-up bitch" who thinks she’s "too good to take a man’s last name." This is the name I was born with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 86

09/01/2010 17:45

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 470

You deserved it 3 234

12/08/2017 11:00

Today, while riding around the lake, a pair of kids thought it was okay to take turns yanking my horse's tail and running away so they didn't get kicked. When I told the parents not to let their kids do that, they said that I shouldn't be riding if I can't "control my beast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 877

You deserved it 232

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 00:01

Today, after 10 beers and a 1/3 of a bottle of Jack, I felt an undeniable urge to go rabbit hunting with lawn darts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 045

24/11/2010 10:55

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 243

You deserved it 8 649

Easy

By FootinMouth - 18/07/2013 21:48

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 428

You deserved it 54 506

28/11/2013 06:26

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 726

You deserved it 3 603

16/05/2011 22:15

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 203

You deserved it 4 417

23/10/2013 22:41

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 106

You deserved it 2 585

15/12/2015 15:15

Today, while out hiking with my girlfriend, she thought it would be funny to push me down a small hill. It turned out there was a 16 foot drop at the end of it, and now my leg is in a cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 606

You deserved it 1 709

03/12/2011 11:23

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 633

You deserved it 3 357

19/09/2014 08:58

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 013

You deserved it 6 006

My eyes! My eyes!

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 05:47

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid seeing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 158

You deserved it 6 402

11/05/2017 18:00

Today, we paid to park in a lot in the city. Hours later, we returned to find our car booted. Apparently the guy that took our money didn't work there. We're stuck three states away from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 209

You deserved it 389

14/04/2009 13:48

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 715

You deserved it 93 377

Playing the long game

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 11:01

Today, after 9 years of loveless marriage, my wife confided in me that she was always an introvert and depressed person, but pretended to be outgoing and fun loving with me up until our marriage, so she could marry me just to lift herself up from low class to high class society. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 109

27/03/2012 16:32

Today, as I was riding the bus, a lady told her daughter to sit next to me. She looked at me and started to scream and cry in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 039

You deserved it 2 864

03/07/2015 21:29

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 206

You deserved it 2 256

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Lurker1 9

Send a private message

Thursday 8 August 2019 0:22

You mean YOU have a 4 hour drive home. He has a 3 day walk lol

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Wednesday 7 August 2019 16:52

If you dumped his body out there, no one will ever find it. Jus’ sayin’

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Send a private message

Wednesday 7 August 2019 15:38

I don’t suppose you’d have been willing to leave him there?

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Wednesday 7 August 2019 16:52

If you dumped his body out there, no one will ever find it. Jus’ sayin’

slowhandjp 16

Send a private message

Wednesday 7 August 2019 23:14

It's gonna be the longest 4 hours ever in your life😖

Lurker1 9

Send a private message

Thursday 8 August 2019 0:22

You mean YOU have a 4 hour drive home. He has a 3 day walk lol

nonameDE 10

Send a private message

Thursday 8 August 2019 1:07

Do the best out of it and have some separation Sex the 4 hours back...

misswilwarin96 11

Send a private message

Thursday 8 August 2019 4:34

We were in the middle of a 3 day vacation when he told me he cheated on me.

bigdaddyeric 30

Send a private message

Thursday 8 August 2019 6:11

Tell “HIM” to start walking, falking cheater!!

themetropolitan 17

Send a private message

Tuesday 13 August 2019 0:54

Who's gonna drive you home tonight ?