Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while on a date with an amazing guy, I burped. He called me a disgusting pig and immediately left. I have burped a total of three times in my life and have therefore never learned how to control it. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML
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Top comments
ilovesuju 10
the fart fmls are always the funniest
SandiRainbowFish 20
Wow, like he never farts. What an ass. You deserve better, OP!
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Comments (200)
Alex_Kytes 1
he's an idiot for dating u in the first place. Girls need to learn how to be lady like.
holdmydick 3
Lady's don't fart, pull yourself together girl and keep the gas to yourself
Paprikaas 13
Absolutely. And continue to walk around with terrible stomach pains too.
cktakemoto 0
Only fat girls fart
Deathonabun 1
Get a guy who isn't an asshole.
jamejame97 12
haha we have something incommon since I cannily attract losers and guys with accents who r douche bags XP
At_Work 1
He got that mad over a fart and YOU tried to call him back? I can see why you keep attracting losers, you're tolerant of their crappy behavior.
chikitty 7
Everyone farts
cainchild 4
So, he treated you the way you would've treated him.
mjmsmommy89 0
Real men laugh at farts.
dmartinez314 0
Maybe dont fart on the phone next time..pig.