Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Why the hell would you be "examining and admiring it"? That's just disgusting!
citybeats 0
Being in your car alone =/= invisibility.
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Comments (102)
citybeats 0
Being in your car alone =/= invisibility.
plexico 4
But, in a big city, you usually can count on car alone -> Anonymity And when that breaks down, FML is here to catch the fun. That's just a heads-up for you guys who receive ******** in your cars.
bigscarybunny95 0
yes!
ztsim 0
haha picking your nose is the number one pass time while in the car
maddog_fml 0
"While carefully examing and admiring it"?? o_O **** dude! You where that hungry? And I bet you save it on the dashboard! YDI
lahp 0
ok i understand you somtimes neeed to pick ur nose and it can be annoying! but come on! dont admire it! pick it and flick it!
Qup 0
YsoDI! your car isn't some insulated bubble where Boone can see you. at least keep tissues handy so you can blow your nose. GAK! gross!
SeximusPrime 0
LOL That is why you must only pick in private.
ha3lo 0
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!
njfliiboy 0
childish tendencies
xxcrazybestiexx 0
I just puked a little in mouth. That is utterly disgusting! WTF, could u be anymore gross. YDI
technolove 7
lmao
chcagr 1
Unless your boss is a total douchebag, he will have to admit, at least to himself, that he picks his nose too. Everyone does. That is why nostrils are finger sized.
Stormcloak 20
Not everyone does actually. And it hardly makes someone a "douchebag" to not pick their nose.