Transportation: Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was...

By lohandork - 22/05/2016 17:33 - United Kingdom - Roehampton

Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 165

You deserved it 11 149

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Detained

By Anonymous - 25/02/2015 10:33 - Australia - Maddington

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 235

You deserved it 13 256

By Animeislyfe - 25/08/2015 02:56 - United States - Stockbridge

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 174

You deserved it 7 602

Beep beep

By Crash - 30/06/2010 23:06 - United States

Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 202

You deserved it 61 793

By jj4320 - 17/09/2011 08:37 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 661

You deserved it 41 002

By whitedevil - 09/10/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 170

You deserved it 49 917

By KobraKommander - 17/03/2010 11:51 - France

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 509

You deserved it 92 576

By Anonymous - 18/08/2016 20:44 - United States - High Point

Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 324

You deserved it 1 128

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 238

You deserved it 70 672

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 557

You deserved it 36 618

By AE86Turbo - 03/05/2011 05:22 - United States

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 776

You deserved it 28 521

DocBastard 38

Monday 23 May 2016 1:35

Drunk driving Talking and driving Drowsy driving Texting and driving Reading and driving Applying makeup and driving Road sex I never thought I'd have to add "Picking and driving" to my Stupid Things Only Idiots Do While Driving list.

cfojo 19

Monday 23 May 2016 1:15

Well, either way you were distracted. Try to be more careful!

Comments

samsterling 19

Monday 23 May 2016 1:15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

farmgirl98 14

Monday 23 May 2016 3:04

Sorry you're getting down-voted... You made me laugh anyway;)

TMO2142 25

Tuesday 24 May 2016 17:47

Bad day today and i read this comment. Thanks for making me laugh

cfojo 19

Monday 23 May 2016 1:15

Well, either way you were distracted. Try to be more careful!

nonsensical 26

Monday 23 May 2016 1:16

The dangers of picking your nose and driving... YDI for not being focused on the road.

otakupowers 7

Monday 23 May 2016 1:23

Well, at least it wasn't a cop and you didn't get a ticket.

tranced_ 45

Monday 23 May 2016 1:26

you were picking your nose and he thought you were texting? he should be careful on the roads himself #justsayin

CutePichu 11

Monday 23 May 2016 1:26

The category your follow is in is glitches for me :(

whysobeachy 37

Monday 23 May 2016 4:55

What?

Sudoc 29

Monday 23 May 2016 8:54

The category for this post shows up as "fml.category.ui.11". At least it does for me.

bodyguerdson 16

Monday 23 May 2016 12:19

I don't know why you are downvoted, your comment is correct: it is glitched

Kershme123 2

Monday 23 May 2016 1:33

what the actual ****?! this story makes absolutely no ******* sense! is this what you call adults?!

DocBastard 38

Monday 23 May 2016 1:35

Halfass 8

Monday 23 May 2016 2:32

Driving and booger admiring

PePziNL 20

Monday 23 May 2016 4:31

Talking and driving? Must be very boring driving with you... Aside from that, I agree with every point on your list.

naviajack626 16

Monday 23 May 2016 7:05

He probably meant talking on the phone.

Sora_McKain 36

Monday 23 May 2016 22:05

I think you forgot to add those who change clothes while driving, like my mom does. It drives me crazy!

ClitasaurusRex 3

Monday 23 May 2016 1:55

******* gross

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Monday 23 May 2016 2:17

What the ****? Get a tissue next time, that's nasty.

Keywords

Kids Names Music Work Customers Bodyshaming Awkward Coworkers Money Landlords Roommate AITA Dogs Parents Allergies Embarrassing Singing Cute Neighbours Health Accident Ironic Animals Cats Love Airport Relationship advice Sex Intimacy Cheating

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 126

You deserved it 5 932

Today, my husband wants a divorce and will be moving out as soon as possible because he can’t stand my mother anymore. He's tired of pushing me to stand up to her, even once, so he's done and is leaving. I’m upset he’s leaving, but I’m equally as upset he’s leaving me alone with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 463

The Top

Today, my boyfriend heard me confessing my undying love to someone while we were skyping. He's now convinced that I was talking to some other guy and had forgotten to mute my phone. I was talking to my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 707

You deserved it 2 119

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, as usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 009

You deserved it 7 221

Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 874

You deserved it 6 990

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 303

You deserved it 3 504

Today, my dad once again had to help me with my technological issues. Isn’t it usually the other way around? FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 423

Today, while watching YouTube, I was drinking when something funny happened. I laughed, choked, and threw up all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 245

Same thing different taste

Detained

Beep beep

Top comments

Comments