By clayton - 28/07/2012 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 501
You deserved it 44 127

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Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.

Find yourself a girl bro.


I can't say what is wrong with you, but when I ask that question, everyone replies by saying everything is wrong with me.

The answer is obviously "the Internet."

dpimfd lolr s prtdpmsl ptpnlrm

Lol? I'm not sure how to respond to this...

oh god my computer just glitched the f out...

mduffy08 8

Maybe we have to unscramble the words

If you don't know how to respond to something, I think the best way is not to repond at all.

the_anti_hipster 7

Paging Dr. Freud, Mommy Issues on line 1...

mduffy08 8

My reply was to a comment that got deleted.

48 I know that. It was something along the lines of "sisknwbshsjajja". Literally. Bunch of random letters.

Reeserr 3

I'm not quite sure you know how to use the word literally properly.

I think I do. If I do not, inform me of my terrible deed I have committed and show me the correct and glorious way to do so.

Reeserr 3

Nice, you replied in 3 minutes. Are you on here all day checking to see if someone replies?

mduffy08 8

103 - So you literally posted 7 minutes after, and you're going to say that? Get lost.

109 - you literally have no idea that 3 minutes is not all day.

HyperRofl 0

You guys literally have no idea there are email notifications.

Reeserr 3

Ya I did because I knew this simp would respond. YOLO

Merylwen 24

What's wrong with him is that he watches way too much ****.

145- that's not the problem.

That is the solution


Actually. Some psychiatrists believe that there is a connection between the mother/son that appeals to the the son's sexual fantasies. In other words, some guys want to sleep with girls that are just like their mothers. Which is possibly why he got aroused.

179 - it's called the Oedipus complex, from the Greek myth. There's also the opposite case in which girls are helplessly attracted to their fathers, known as the Electra complex. Pretty ****** up, but obviously not so uncommon as to develop terms for the conditions....however I think OP is most likely an adolescent and probably just hormone haywire, in which case a number of words spoken by any person can trigger the very same reaction. Nothing to be ashamed of OP, my advice to you is to do what other boys (and men) do and flog the dolphin; it's perfectly natural, but just be sure it's in private and without thoughts of mother dearest in your head.

ReturnOfTheRat 6

I don't think it was a connection to his mother, I think he got aroused from the words 'he surprised me with a pearl necklace'

Those terms exist and are used because Sigmund Freud popularized it. His theory (now discredited) went that kids develop sexually by being attracted to their parents and that they resent the parent they're not attracted to.


182- thank you for explaining it to me in more detail. It's true what they say "you learn something new everyday"

UltimateGIRness 16

Well I learned a lot on this thread

Find yourself a girl bro.

Why can't he use his hands?

Jill: I'm not speaking with him right now. He can never use soap, that bastard.

Girl?? Are you sure? He got hard after hearing about pearls!!

2: What if the OP isn't into girl-bros?

clearly OP just needs a "slam piece" or a "hole for his dick", just so he can get it out of his system, ya know?

I don't think a girl bro would be effective. maybe a girlfriend would.

12, I agree. There's nothing wrong with self gratification. I'm guessing he watches too much 'mommy and son's friend' ****.

35, not sure if you're joking or you actually don't know what a "pearl necklace" is

Clearly that went right over some people's heads. Unlike OP's mother. ;)

I'm guessing his mom is hot. Is your mom a Milf? We need pics!!

'mom, I want to introduce you to my new girlfriend, my left hand'

boredblonde 17

How is that even a turn on?

Dunno, some people just find cumming on girls hot.

Yeah, that part's just sick, search me.

I don't understand how it's even close to a turn on...

Dallasluver19 14


violetsweety 26

A pearl necklace can be slang for ejaculating all over a girls neck.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

wtf who would get turned on by that ?

119 - I didn't actually get the joke until she explained. So it wasn't that obvious, Captain Asshole

shinersaboss 0

Good thing she explained that cause I was thinking honest pearl necklaces here

Anyone else notice that it's mostly girls who don't what "pearl necklace" is a euphemism for? 120: Dudes.

My hormones must be acting up too. I first read that as " I was spanking to my mother on the phone " oh wait a second .....

tasian14 12

Me 2 lol

Has no one thought about why the mother would share this information with her son? The son was probably quite horny, taking into account the fact that it probably was a REAL pearl necklace, not the sexual kind.

Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.

Like... His mum getting jizzed on by his dad? Personally, I think he's from the wrong part of Australia... Tasmania is where all that "jazz" happens...

Right, coz all Tasmanian's are incest. Nice stereotype jerkoff

*Tasmanians* Damn auto correct

Sounds like AussieChild has experienced a few too many Tasmanian jokes. From the whole of the mainland, we're sorry. We'll also speak slower for you ;)

I'm from Queensland originally- then moved to Tasmania with family.. Doesn't stop all the jokes though

87 - so you folks converted into the lifestyle?

Ahaaaaa, you're hilarious.

No where does it say or even imply that OP is a teenager. If he is talking on the phone with his mother about something mundane that happened a week ago I would assume that he is grown and living on his own.

Take a good look at your profile pic and try to learn something.

So Tasmania is to Australia as the south is to the United States?

198- all I know is that Tasmania has the lowest crime rate in Australia and is considered to be one of the safest and most beautiful places in the world.

mpj13 8

That's a very attractive question

I honestly thing an actually pearl neckless. Not one made by his dads baby juice. Haha.

*think *actual *necklace *dad's SORRY - *hides in corner*

mtrrace 4

It happens to the best of us.

OK, I've done some really weird shit. But not that!

blcksocks 19

No #7, I don't think it does...

Clearly, most people are not "the best of us". The world is ******.

cmb8280 24

Really? No one here has used the phrase, "It happens to the best of us," sarcastically before? i.e. somewhere where it clearly does NOT happen to the best of us? No worries, #7, I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down.

fatou_fml 7

You mean the perverted "us"

I've yet to hear of a pearl fetish, but I suppose there's a first time for everything.

Lookup "pearl necklace" on urban dictionary.

Or better yet, look it up on RedTube.

the_anti_hipster 7

21--and look it up at work. With the volume up as loud as it'll go. ;)

Oooooh the wonders of urban dictionary this makes so much more sense now

SuaSponte 1

It would have been best if you sent that in a private message.

No. It would have been better to send a private message, and it would have been best to keep quiet.

Lol you're desperate

alychick 5

Desperate chick is desperate.

You're not nearly old enough to be op's type.

olpally 32

Quagmire anyone? Lol. Sicko!

mrnuleef 7


luckyd880 12


HairyPunisher 27

It ssounds to me like you just need to lay off the **** and get laid with a real woman. If you're so sexually starved you're picturing sexual scenarios with your parents when something mundane happens then yes, it's time to lose the v-card.

miyaviichan 27

Your username may or may not turn him off completely.