Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
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Top comments
By
greenie213
| 23
Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.
By
hunterfisher98
| 8
Find yourself a girl bro.
COMMENTS
By
MrSassypants
| 32
I can't say what is wrong with you, but when I ask that question, everyone replies by saying everything is wrong with me.
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
The answer is obviously "the Internet."
Reply
MattBC97
| 4
dpimfd lolr s prtdpmsl ptpnlrm
Reply
shuoq76
| 10
Lol? I'm not sure how to respond to this...
Reply
MattBC97
| 4
oh god my computer just glitched the f out...
Reply
mduffy08
| 8
Maybe we have to unscramble the words
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
If you don't know how to respond to something, I think the best way is not to repond at all.
Reply
the_anti_hipster
| 7
Paging Dr. Freud, Mommy Issues on line 1...
Reply
mduffy08
| 8
My reply was to a comment that got deleted.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
48 I know that. It was something along the lines of "sisknwbshsjajja". Literally. Bunch of random letters.
Reply
Reeserr
| 3
I'm not quite sure you know how to use the word literally properly.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
I think I do. If I do not, inform me of my terrible deed I have committed and show me the correct and glorious way to do so.
Reply
Reeserr
| 3
Nice, you replied in 3 minutes. Are you on here all day checking to see if someone replies?
Reply
mduffy08
| 8
103 - So you literally posted 7 minutes after, and you're going to say that? Get lost.
Reply
hatesfate
| 6
109 - you literally have no idea that 3 minutes is not all day.
Reply
HyperRofl
| 0
You guys literally have no idea there are email notifications.
Reply
Reeserr
| 3
Ya I did because I knew this simp would respond. YOLO
Reply
Merylwen
| 24
What's wrong with him is that he watches way too much porn.
Reply
lonkite101
| 14
145- that's not the problem.
Reply
CptZoe
| 10
That is the solution
Reply
BIGBOY4rmAHM
| 19
Actually. Some psychiatrists believe that there is a connection between the mother/son that appeals to the the son's sexual fantasies. In other words, some guys want to sleep with girls that are just like their mothers. Which is possibly why he got aroused.
Reply
TurnpikeTwister
| 0
179 - it's called the Oedipus complex, from the Greek myth. There's also the opposite case in which girls are helplessly attracted to their fathers, known as the Electra complex. Pretty fucked up, but obviously not so uncommon as to develop terms for the conditions....however I think OP is most likely an adolescent and probably just hormone haywire, in which case a number of words spoken by any person can trigger the very same reaction. Nothing to be ashamed of OP, my advice to you is to do what other boys (and men) do and flog the dolphin; it's perfectly natural, but just be sure it's in private and without thoughts of mother dearest in your head.
Reply
ReturnOfTheRat
| 6
I don't think it was a connection to his mother, I think he got aroused from the words 'he surprised me with a pearl necklace'
Reply
ygdrassil
| 17
Those terms exist and are used because Sigmund Freud popularized it. His theory (now discredited) went that kids develop sexually by being attracted to their parents and that they resent the parent they're not attracted to.
Reply
BIGBOY4rmAHM
| 19
182- thank you for explaining it to me in more detail. It's true what they say "you learn something new everyday"
Reply
BabyGirlJr1
| 11
Nice:)
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UltimateGIRness
| 16
Well I learned a lot on this thread
By
hunterfisher98
| 8
Find yourself a girl bro.
Reply
ComTlancy
| 12
Why can't he use his hands?
Reply
SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
Jill: I'm not speaking with him right now. He can never use soap, that bastard.
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Girl?? Are you sure? He got hard after hearing about pearls!!
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
2: What if the OP isn't into girl-bros?
Reply
boating_guy
| 33
clearly OP just needs a "slam piece" or a "hole for his dick", just so he can get it out of his system, ya know?
Reply
pulse18
| 2
I don't think a girl bro would be effective. maybe a girlfriend would.
Reply
AKGirlinSD
| 20
12, I agree. There's nothing wrong with self gratification. I'm guessing he watches too much 'mommy and son's friend' porn.
Reply
fuzz97
| 23
35, not sure if you're joking or you actually don't know what a "pearl necklace" is
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Clearly that went right over some people's heads. Unlike OP's mother. ;)
Reply
HiIAmKevin
| 8
I'm guessing his mom is hot. Is your mom a Milf? We need pics!!
Reply
Annnieck
| 5
'mom, I want to introduce you to my new girlfriend, my left hand'
By
boredblonde
| 17
How is that even a turn on?
Reply
Shrike
| 22
Dunno, some people just find cumming on girls hot.
Reply
superswagbro
| 7
But their mom?
Reply
Shrike
| 22
Yeah, that part's just sick, search me.
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SwAGkiLlS
| 5
I don't understand how it's even close to a turn on...
Reply
Dallasluver19
| 14
Haha!
Reply
violetsweety
| 26
A pearl necklace can be slang for ejaculating all over a girls neck.
Reply
Xythenol
| 6
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
Fmlsea
| 28
wtf who would get turned on by that ?
Reply
eggmarie
| 25
119 - I didn't actually get the joke until she explained. So it wasn't that obvious, Captain Asshole
Reply
shinersaboss
| 0
Good thing she explained that cause I was thinking honest pearl necklaces here
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
Anyone else notice that it's mostly girls who don't what "pearl necklace" is a euphemism for?
120: Dudes.
120: Dudes.
Reply
TheJester12
| 15
My hormones must be acting up too. I first read that as " I was spanking to my mother on the phone " oh wait a second .....
Reply
tasian14
| 12
Me 2 lol
Reply
VorpikeII
| 17
Has no one thought about why the mother would share this information with her son? The son was probably quite horny, taking into account the fact that it probably was a REAL pearl necklace, not the sexual kind.
By
greenie213
| 23
Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.
Reply
CareFace
| 16
Like... His mum getting jizzed on by his dad?
Personally, I think he's from the wrong part of Australia... Tasmania is where all that "jazz" happens...
Personally, I think he's from the wrong part of Australia... Tasmania is where all that "jazz" happens...
Reply
AussieChild
| 22
Right, coz all Tasmanian's are incest. Nice stereotype jerkoff
Reply
AussieChild
| 22
*Tasmanians*
Damn auto correct
Damn auto correct
Reply
pmr1990
| 12
Sounds like AussieChild has experienced a few too many Tasmanian jokes. From the whole of the mainland, we're sorry. We'll also speak slower for you ;)
Reply
AussieChild
| 22
I'm from Queensland originally- then moved to Tasmania with family.. Doesn't stop all the jokes though
Reply
hatesfate
| 6
87 - so you folks converted into the lifestyle?
Reply
AussieChild
| 22
Ahaaaaa, you're hilarious.
Reply
bingo01_fml
| 13
No where does it say or even imply that OP is a teenager. If he is talking on the phone with his mother about something mundane that happened a week ago I would assume that he is grown and living on his own.
Reply
greenie213
| 23
Take a good look at your profile pic and try to learn something.
Reply
jizzwold
| 21
So Tasmania is to Australia as the south is to the United States?
Reply
AussieChild
| 22
198- all I know is that Tasmania has the lowest crime rate in Australia and is considered to be one of the safest and most beautiful places in the world.
By
mpj13
| 8
That's a very attractive question
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
I honestly thing an actually pearl neckless. Not one made by his dads baby juice. Haha.
Reply
MissEmma_fml
| 22
*think
*actual
*necklace
*dad's
SORRY - *hides in corner*
*actual
*necklace
*dad's
SORRY - *hides in corner*
By
mtrrace
| 4
It happens to the best of us.
Reply
phatdaddy62
| 23
OK, I've done some really weird shit. But not that!
Reply
blcksocks
| 19
No #7, I don't think it does...
Reply
CptZoe
| 10
Clearly, most people are not "the best of us". The world is fucked.
Reply
cmb8280
| 24
Really? No one here has used the phrase, "It happens to the best of us," sarcastically before? i.e. somewhere where it clearly does NOT happen to the best of us? No worries, #7, I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down.
Reply
fatou_fml
| 7
You mean the perverted "us"
By
duckiegirl21
| 10
I've yet to hear of a pearl fetish, but I suppose there's a first time for everything.
Reply
nchov523
| 11
Lookup "pearl necklace" on urban dictionary.
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
Or better yet, look it up on RedTube.
Reply
the_anti_hipster
| 7
21--and look it up at work. With the volume up as loud as it'll go. ;)
Reply
i_wuz_nver_here
| 31
Oooooh the wonders of urban dictionary this makes so much more sense now
By
emmaohiggins
| 0
Ill go out with u
Reply
SuaSponte
| 1
It would have been best if you sent that in a private message.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
No. It would have been better to send a private message, and it would have been best to keep quiet.
Reply
biggestfan23
| 11
Lol d
Reply
biggestfan23
| 11
Lol you're desperate
Reply
bowerz
| 1
:)
Reply
alychick
| 5
Desperate chick is desperate.
Reply
SirEskimo
| 13
You're not nearly old enough to be op's type.
By
olpally
| 32
Quagmire anyone? Lol. Sicko!
Reply
mrnuleef
| 7
Giggety
Reply
lonkite101
| 14
88- *Giggity
Reply
luckyd880
| 12
Goo
By
HairyPunisher
| 27
It ssounds to me like you just need to lay off the porn and get laid with a real woman. If you're so sexually starved you're picturing sexual scenarios with your parents when something mundane happens then yes, it's time to lose the v-card.
Reply
miyaviichan
| 27
Your username may or may not turn him off completely.