Today, I was so desperate for any kind of male romantic attention that I googled "prison pen pals", and I'm considering writing to one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML
Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML
Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML
Today, I was so desperate for a friend that I posted a Craigslist ad to find one. Now my phone's filled with spam and I still don't have any friends. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML
Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML
Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
It's a shame that all the good ones are locked up.
Steve95401 49
A "pen pal" who is in the penitentiary. Not a good choice OP.
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Comments (220)
challan 19
My friend recently got married to a fantastic man she met on eharmony. Sign up, Op! Do not, I repeat, do not settle, when there are GOOD men out there. Trust me, some of the BEST men I know have been overlooked by women, and are looking for you.
DrBlack 9
You sound like a sales rep for eharmony dude.
ImJK_fml 0
She's just making sure the guy can't run away from her.
perdix 31
Aw, I'll be your friend. Wouldn't you prefer to write to a guy who is not involved in forcible sodomy on a regular basis? (What I do voluntarily is a hole 'nother story, butt you'll have to write me to find out about it ;) .)
FMLKitten 15
Wait.... perdix, you AREN'T involved in forcible sodomy? ..well darn! Oh well, I guess I'll still write you :-D Hold up— "hole 'bother story"? On second thought, I think Baustigt's right on this one.
perdix 31
Baustigt needs to butt out and quit being cheeky! Now, Kitten, you should write me ass fast ass possible ;3
FMLKitten 15
*'nother Auto-correct :'-( And alright perdix! I'll write you ASSAP!
perdix 31
#153, I'm looking forward to hearing from you ASSSASSP ;3
Pandacupcakelove 26
Comeon, you do not need a prison pen pal! Go out and meet somebody! I bet there are tons of guys who would love to get to know you! :)
TheJester12 15
To be fair, many serial killers have been known to be real womanizers. You may just have hit a gold mine my friend ;)
kimg0885 23
True, Charles Manson hung out with a whole " family" of women, what a player.
AG415LINK 2
I'll write to you.
Enslaved 38
Oh, you should definitely do it! According to the "Shawshank Redemption", they are all innocent in there!
gracehi 33
Find yourself a nerd, OP. They are often desperate for female companionship, and are a great alternative to convicts.
SpotDog 11
Once you get past the social differences you'll find out that they are very analytical and think about real sex all the time - and there are benefits to that, provided you don't get a freak.
DjeePee 25
But.. inmates need love too. It actually sounds like a great learning experience to have a prison pen pal. I wouldn't want a relationship with them, but they must have interesting things to say.
Fmlsea 28
Do ur self up go out and start a conversation with someone you can't expect to find love if you don't try, but even considering dating someone in jail is abit extreme .