By kevcng - 10/09/2012 21:20 - United States

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 694
You deserved it 7 973

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

WearingHats 14

You must have some floppy ones.

Moments like these I am so grateful to be a woman! Yes we have periods, lots of girlie-bit issues and all but, is it really that easy to sit on your own balls? Damn.


Dblocker 18

It took your boss 5 minutes to tell you to shut the fuck up? To be honest I would of cracked at like 15 seconds.

MichellinMan 20


but the gender says female...

Obviously his boss has never experienced the true pain of sitting on your own testicles.

Dblocker 18

Ah damn I feel like a dick now I thought the FML said he was crying for 5 minutes now I see it says choking back tears.

HowAreYouToday 34

True pain is a metaphor.

I think his boss was telling him to shut up for 5 minutes, not notice after 5 minutes

JustMery 9

Would have*

#37 yo face is a metaphor!

83, You annoy me.

#92 I tired but i couldn't even pretend to care.

God damn, how fucking hung are you?

Sitting on them isnt that bad... I got one of mine crushed while weight lifting and I didn't bitch for 5 minutes.

You obviously don't have normal testicles

What 112 fails to mention was that he was lifting while on roids so he really had shriveled raisins.

My balls hurt from just reading the phrase "crushed by wright lifting."

First of all, his boss was TELLING him for five minutes. Second, I doubt he told his boss that he sat on his testicles while in a room full of people. His boss prolly had no idea what OP's problem was and probably thought he was being weird.

It says you're a girl... But you have testicles...

Funny, cause you posted as a woman

akg98 13


What a dick. Can he seriously just tell you to stop fucking around?

But with such vulgar language? I didn't think that'd be allowed. I guess I just don't know much..

Welcome to the real world #6

Yeah, well I know bosses can obvious tell you what to do. Still pretty messed up he just told him to stop fucking around. Poor balls of his.

That's what bosses are for, they get paid to sit on their ass and boss you around.

That kind of sucks. I'm sort of scared to get older and have a job then.

littlemsweirdo 12

"Your scared to get older and have a job" Wtf?

littlemsweirdo 12

*you're Ha, grammar nazis! I corrected myself before you could. I know the goddamn difference between the your and you're !

Vulgar language? Really. Grow up.

WearingHats 14

She thinks of things in different perspectives man. You don't even know.

Good grammar my ass! It's "obviously" 33! Not to mention a punctuation error! Grammar Nazi out!

68, my mother always told me, people mature at their own pace, don't tell someone to grow up as if it's a choice.

Damn. I didn't think I'd get so much shit for this. I apologize for my ignorance guys. I do realize that the world is messed up. Don't have to slam me. And by "I'm scared to grow up and have a job." I just mean that I know that I'll have to learn how to deal with crap better. I'm not good at that. So go ahead thumb me down, I deserve it.

Yes. Yes you do.

The key to being happy at work, 103, is to find something you enjoy. My fiancé finished college with a major in a field he loves. He now has a great job that he loves. Not all jobs are scary. You just have to find something you enjoy. The scariest types of jobs are customer service jobs. It's quite common to get yelled at for something that is not your fault. There is nothing that can be done because some people are never happy. So finish college and get a good job. Even if the job sucks the pay should be enough to support you. It's difficult to get anywhere in life with only a high school diploma. Not impossible, but difficult.

Bosses can say whatever they want to you basically. They are in charge.

2 things: 1) Sitting on your own balls? That takes a bit of skill. 2) Wait... girl with balls?

You have testicles and you are a woman, right?

Lolwut girl with balls

WearingHats 14

You must have some floppy ones.

Very perceptive #10. Tell me, did yoyou arrive at that conclusion all by yourself?

Sorry that was meant to be a response to #8. I got the numbers mixed up.

winnerme123 8

They should make a bra for testicles. That would help,

persianjr1 7

Brasticles ;D

syley 5

I believe it's called a cup

There's briefs

Psych101 9

90- Compression shorts.

#108 Just make sure you don't have to duct-tape yours together in Walmart