Work: Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's... - FML

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25799

You deserved it

5154

Tweet

Share

Intense

One law for me…

Where are you?

By Asha Toone - 31/1/2021 08:02

Tough times

Today, I started noticing how unnecessarily hard it is to get a basic job such as a cashier or server, even though you already have experience in that field. FML

I agree, your life sucks

705

You deserved it

70

Tweet

Share

By rhcp007 - United Kingdom - Potters Bar

Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3313

You deserved it

279

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21862

You deserved it

97077

Tweet

Share

By bleh - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31281

You deserved it

6763

Tweet

Share

By painedandpissed - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44941

You deserved it

7136

Tweet

Share

By Jason - United States

Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9708

You deserved it

44261

Tweet

Share

By Jayne - United States

Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28210

You deserved it

2811

Tweet

Share

By rutho - United States

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20870

You deserved it

208488

Tweet

Share

By Harry - United States - Milledgeville

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47761

You deserved it

8266

Tweet

Share

By laxie - United States

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38107

You deserved it

3883

Tweet

Share

By bbns - Germany

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25273

You deserved it

2729

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/4/2021 14:00

What about me?

Today, my younger brother got in engaged. When we had a conversation about the wedding, he asked why the hell would I be involved with any of it! He used to be my best friend. I don’t know what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1060

You deserved it

129

Tweet

Share

By EOJ - United States

Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8899

You deserved it

55129

Tweet

Share

By dpod121 - United States

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24365

You deserved it

9187

Tweet

Share

By suspended - United States - Grand Blanc

Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15921

Phew, glad it wasn't me

2055

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Athens

Close, but no cigar

Today, my boyfriend tried to compliment my date-night attire. His brain couldn't decide between, "So pretty" and, "You're the shit," so his mouth decided, "You're so shitty" would suffice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1783

You deserved it

262

Tweet

Share

By life_sucks - New Zealand

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31946

You deserved it

7493

Tweet

Share

By nosrepamai82 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65525

You deserved it

5975

Tweet

Share

By jessmess - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27101

You deserved it

4763

Tweet

Share

By Samipearl - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29403

You deserved it

6367

Tweet

Share

By Zebra - 30/12/2020 22:58

Happy Birthday to me

Today, my sister was meant to come over for lunch for my birthday. Turns out, she forgot about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

752

You deserved it

51

Tweet

Share

By FuckLife - Australia

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32352

You deserved it

2471

Tweet

Share

By m…… - 9/4/2021 21:30

Social anxiety sucks

Today, it’s the third anniversary of me not being able to finish a single sentence when speaking in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks

718

You deserved it

106

Tweet

Share

By Username

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42851

You deserved it

24829

Tweet

Share

By areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47344

You deserved it

3252

Tweet

Share

By Maju - Netherlands

Dumb, but relatable

Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

517

You deserved it

2598

Tweet

Share

By frustrated - Australia - Mittagong

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32084

You deserved it

7021

Tweet

Share

By fisted - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26869

You deserved it

11679

Tweet

Share

By Username - United States

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32843

You deserved it

2922

Tweet

Share

By kdgirl - United States

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29289

You deserved it

3121

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36019

You deserved it

4500

Tweet

Share

By ladyhavery - United States

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password. It was his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23593

You deserved it

49282

Tweet

Share

By HDcashier

Graded

Today, while cashiering, I rang out a father and his son who looked about eight years-old. The dad jokingly told his son that I was a 10/10 in looks. The son then looked at me for a few seconds and said, "No, probably more like a seven". Thanks a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1576

You deserved it

171

Tweet

Share

By Can’t Cope

Today my fiancé is going to Planned Parenthood to see if he got herpes from a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5445

You deserved it

505

Tweet

Share

By UH-OH - United States

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17684

You deserved it

117363

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Kansas City

Today, after paying a job coach a load of money for his services, pretty much the only advice he gave me was "Send out more résumés." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28125

You deserved it

4973

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34877

You deserved it

9677

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Right place, wrong time

Today, as I'd been going to a gym with my wife as a guest on her account, I joined as a regular member. However, before I had time to go under my own membership, the gym closed down due to the coronavirus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1432

You deserved it

221

Tweet

Share

By FingerBang - Australia

Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13035

You deserved it

34041

Tweet

Share

By FuckedByLife - United Kingdom - Bridgend

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8827

You deserved it

544

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By SkoomaKi | 27

#4473540 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:03

They were not amused because you didn't light your fart on fire, it would've given a more explosive start to the presentation.

By Sinsation | 7

#4473523 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

Silence is not so Golden.

COMMENTS

By Sinsation | 7

#4473523 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

Silence is not so Golden.

Reply

RaggleFrock | 13

#4473544 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:04

And smelly

Reply

causticgirl | 6

#4473565 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:09

You will now forever be known as "Sir Farts A Lot" or "Mc Stinky" around the office. Time to start looking for new employment.

Reply

chowE_fml | 4

#4473622 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:30

Now op will be the 'Butt' of all the office jokes.

Reply

kayla_ann0o | 9

#4473666 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:50

It's that kind of moment that calls for a "that was easy" button. Keeps it less awkward.

Reply

randii_17 | 11

#4473674 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:52

I'm surprised that top comment isn't quoting the movie Step Brothers. I couldn't be the only one thinking it...

Reply

amandajlucas2015 | 2

#4474469 - Thursday 24 May 2012 1:46

The only reason they don't find it funny is because they are stuck up assholes who don't think their shit stinks but believe me it does it all does

Reply

nictransitglory | 4

#4474666 - Thursday 24 May 2012 3:09

But it can be deadly

Reply

cr3ativity | 15

#4474855 - Thursday 24 May 2012 4:38

It could possibly brown instead

Reply

hatesfate | 6

#4475264 - Thursday 24 May 2012 8:42

Actually the poop particals as a result of a fart could be brown... The gas from a fart can not be seen by the naked eye...

Don't believe me? Ask someone to fart while you put your eye to their ass... Just be careful of pink eye. ;-)

Reply

ProfessionalTrol_fml | 14

#4476518 - Thursday 24 May 2012 16:56

Did you give everyone in the room a pink eye?

By Devin91 | 20

#4473524 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

Hopefully you did a hell of a presentation. But the embarrassment will blow over soon, no need to stress over the small stuff.

Reply

kikiray | 3

#4473597 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:20

Lol blow over.. No pun intended...

Reply

chowE_fml | 4

#4474347 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:58

Won't blow over completely until OP checks their undies for accidental poo

Reply

1poohbear5 | 7

#4474492 - Thursday 24 May 2012 1:59

By the sound of it, it wasn't small haha

Reply

yasssx3 | 6

#4475011 - Thursday 24 May 2012 5:49

It's one of those moments where you're never gonna get over it. As in like 3 years later your still gonna be like 'Mother of God' and be just as embarrassed as the first time.

Reply

dannyice | 2

#4475987 - Thursday 24 May 2012 14:19

Isn't it 'oh god, why'

By gamercanadian | 11

#4473535 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:03

Come to think of it I don't remember the last time I had those monstrous farts..... Oh wait that yesterday, during my presentation.

Reply

The_Troller | 14

#4474378 - Thursday 24 May 2012 1:15

Who are you talking to?

Reply

AwkwardPartyBear | 24

#4474712 - Thursday 24 May 2012 3:25

#38 Himself.

By SkoomaKi | 27

#4473540 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:03

They were not amused because you didn't light your fart on fire, it would've given a more explosive start to the presentation.

Reply

Mariebaz | 11

#4474539 - Thursday 24 May 2012 2:16

For all we know, it could well have been explosive.

Reply

EnterSandman_fml | 20

#4474570 - Thursday 24 May 2012 2:28

There's more than one way to get an audience fired up. They'll have a blast I'm sure.

Reply

ShyAnn29 | 14

#4475236 - Thursday 24 May 2012 8:25

Can you imagine explaining the explosion?

Fireman: So, how'd this happen?
OP: Well, um.....I thought I'd light my fart, but I had a bigger fart than usual, and it exploded

Reply

ShyAnn29 | 14

#4475238 - Thursday 24 May 2012 8:26

That really was funnier in my mind lol

Reply

ShyAnn29 | 14

#4475243 - Thursday 24 May 2012 8:28

This app is messing up, sorry

Reply

ScaughtieHolden | 11

#4475699 - Thursday 24 May 2012 12:09

Sounds like it was the longest 2 or 3 seconds of OP's life.

By Michael_92 | 20

#4473548 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:05

That's one way to make sure all eyes are on you.

By ralenti | 3

#4473550 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:05

this makes me cringe so much. i feel bad for you. :-(

Reply

nofearjenshere | 12

#4473562 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:08

How exactly does this make you cringe?

Reply

SkoomaKi | 27

#4473602 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:21

How would you not cringe? OP was in front of SENIOR employees and let out a 2-3 second fart. It's incredibly embarrassing and very cringe-worthy.

Reply

reddudeover | 2

#4473617 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:28

11 - it's called EMPATHY, I cringe from the embarrassment op must have felt letting out a wet shart in front of important colleagues.

Reply

hecallsmedarlin | 7

#4474351 - Thursday 24 May 2012 1:00

28 - ew. I do not believe op said anything about it being wet... In that case he would of mentioned about asking for a few minutes to go change... I hope anyway.

By ICastillo | 24

#4473553 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:06

Well at least all the pressure is gone. Well you let them have a whiff of your smelf.

By Doribella98 | 14

#4473554 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:06

They should understand that sometimes farts are hard to hold in- and that they can be random. Hope your presentation was great, though.

Reply

Roflsauruz | 12

#4473615 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:27

Maybe if it was so hard to hold it in, he could...plug it?

With... Something......

O_o

Reply

geko911 | 22

#4474406 - Thursday 24 May 2012 1:22

What? Stick your finger down your skirt and up your ass and hope it works? Make a ball with a sheet of paper and try to make it fit down there? Ooohhh well yes genius that's a marvelous idea!

By nofearjenshere | 12

#4473555 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:06

That is the kind of moment when you play it off with humor.

Reply

ICastillo | 24

#4473608 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:22

Ya he should have been like did you guys here that barking spider?

Reply

kayla_ann0o | 9

#4473679 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:52

No he shoulda said " hey guys you hear that asshole talking shit behind me?"

By theneatoburrito | 8

#4473570 - Thursday 24 May 2012 0:10

That's the moment you try to play it cool.
Just be like, "Ahhhh, sorry bros. I've been holding that one in all day!".