By CaptainSaveAHoe - 11/09/2012 00:42 - United States - Manteca

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 946
You deserved it 2 645

CaptainSaveAHoe tells us more.

so I planned for her to slip so I could mug her? the amount of logic in this comment is astounding.

Top comments

The word "fap-stick" will haunt me forever. Is that what you caught her with? Also autocorrect decided I meant rap-stick. Indeed.

Looks like someone has to go back to ninja school.


The word "fap-stick" will haunt me forever. Is that what you caught her with? Also autocorrect decided I meant rap-stick. Indeed.

I always did wonder why people come up with every way possible to not say "dick". After a while, what's the point?

Because the FML would've been only half as funny had he just used the word 'penis'.

I hate that we can't thumb up or down your comments! A lot of them are really funny and it would be interesting to see how the fml community's opinion stacks up against that of the staff. I know I can't be the only one who thinks this...

TheTwistedOtaku 16

When I read the FML I burst out laughing on the train. As for different names for rude bits; it's fun to come up with and use, be boring otherwise.

OhbbyCx 6

"Oh, girl. I caught you by your titty. That was a close one." -Kevin Hart

Actually, "dick" is also just an alternate name for it.

Whoa! Since this guy is on the FML team, we cannot rate his comments. This is a tyrant! This is a dictator! I'd love to have this small amount of power too.


63, I also have a windows phone. You can thumb up/down, but when you exit the app and restart it, the thumb won't have registered.

pinklady72191 4

People are so rude. It's sad when you see repercussions from trying to help someone.

Times we live in you can't blame the woman for whacking his nads.

Yes you can blame her, because he didn't do anything remotely deserving of being 'whacked in the nads'.

15) I was only pointing out that with all the rapist, pedophiles, sexual predators ect we have these days, it's not extremely uncommon for a persons reflexes toying around and hit him in his "fap stick", all I can say for OP is wrong place wrong time.

Hey fuckface, the number of sexual crimes hasnt gone up dramatically at all. its just all the media focuses on

perdix 29

Did anyone read the story? The OP is not a hero, he's the one that knocked the lady over in the first place! For all she knows, he could have intentionally bumped her just to have an excuse to save her. Kinda like the pyromaniac fireman.

17 - The ironic thing is that if OP hadn't been in that place at that time, the woman would've fallen. Now, she "could" have been perfectly fine, but we all FML is the land of worst case senarios where we make up a bunch of unknown shit to make a situation worse so.... she also could have very well fallen and broken her hip, and in her attempt to catch herself and failing, she thrust the stroller forward, sending it flying down a hill and then into traffic. Personally, I think OP was in the right place, at the right time, with the wrong woman. And what's with all these FMLs about men being assaulted for being nice to women?

#35, Perdix, I was thinking the same. Coincidence she stumbled just when OP was "trying to pass"? Sounds like OP was comming up fast, and she (and the kids) stumbled trying to avoid him. When he grabbed her, she was trying to protect herself and the kids.

Just learn to ignore old ladies. You normally get hit in some form if you try to help them. Also, I would knock them out if they ever punch me for no reason.

Dayzha 0

forreal people are so rude now a days now you cant even tell a joke without people getting offended;)

EvilDave 13

OutOfTown, people like you need to be set on fire.

Looks like someone has to go back to ninja school.

iXTMAstro 6
Tragichero92 12

To OP: you fail at being a ninja. The very art of ninjutsu is "Stealth."

wubbazugg 5

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Mister_Triangle 21

OP is a solo artist; he doesn't need a dance partner. His stick is the tool of his trade and the provider for his livelihood.

So 4, since he used the word 'fap-stick' after he tried to do something nice; by your logic, you've probably done stupid or mean shit after you've done something nice. Therefore, you deserve anything bad that's ever happened to you.

You deserve everything bad that has and will happen to you cause you're name is "wubbazugg". See the logic there?

You should have pushed her back onto the ground. But no, seriously, she's a real b****. If an FML comes up later talking about how a woman fell and punched a guy in his fap-stick then we should all say YDI.

Yes. The woman would indicate punching him in his "fap-stick" so that would be our keyword.

Yes we would all because the woman would indicate punching a dude in his "fap-stick" and that would be our keyword.

Yes, and we would all know what to thumb down as it would be a repeated comment.

Yes, and we would all know what to thumb down as it would be a repeated comment.

Whoowee double posted comments. 4 mins apart and then 2 mins apart.

Ungrateful. Women always seem to think men are "pervs" for the simplest, and/or kindest things they do. It's sad.

Yeah. Maybe this is the same lady called the 17 year old girl a pedophile for saying that her daughter is a princess.

Reminds me of FMLs where guys got called sexist for holding the door open and offering to pay the bill...most women will accept it, but some seem to just want to be dropped on the floor.

I made a Facebook status basically saying the reason chivalry is dead is because women voted it out when they got equal rights to men. So some ladies still have the I'm equal to you mentality and go off cos you did a nice thing for them.

I don't like being treated like a weakling. However, I would also rather not bust my head open by falling to the ground.

therealafroninga 10

Bro, chivalry died when the first toilet seat was invented

trippythehippy 6

No good deed goes unpunished...

I ******* hate people nowadays. Getting a thank you or anything is impossible. Just like that FML yesterday with the girl trying to make the little girl feel better. What is the world coming to :(

Ashter 20

When we start seeing fmls from women falling on the floor and complaining about the guy standing mere inches away, that didn't try to save them, we know who to blame.

No good deed goes unpunished. Next time, use your ninja skills for your own benefit. Like using a special technique that will rip that lady's cold heart out of the vacuum that is her body. She's not using the heart anyway, so yeah, easy pickings. Or.... Use your ninja skills to trip her and let her fall on her face, with you slowly blending in with the shadows, escaping all but the most astute detection. Your call OP.