Anonymous
Bakersfield, United States
Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
blububble412
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Sierra Vista, United States
Busted
Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML
Airplane crap
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Leavenworth, United States
On the run
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Chevy Chase, United States
Holding pattern
Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington, DC an hour ago. FML
aarone23
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Rough
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
jcesom
United States
Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML
Ohwhy
Liverpool, United Kingdom
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Anonymous
United States
Suspect
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Hreyes
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Early warning
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
twitterfailsme
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Rishon Le Zion, Israel
Still not calling it X
Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
New Orleans, United States
It's sus to us
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Top comments
haileyshelton 14
Apple bomb?
RedPillSucks 31
Weapon of tasty destruction
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Comments (188)
AlittleSanity 11
Duh! Apples only keep doctors away!
bleeping 5
Ever heard of quarantine? It's not the apple that is the danger. It is the diseases it may carry and potentially harm an area free of those particular diseases...
robbins28 7
One bite makes your taste buds go boom!
UnitarySaucer 15
Not sure if apple device or apple as in the fruit
laden_swallow09 34
If it were a device, the A would be capitalized. Since it isn't, it's the fruit.
catkat1988 17
Apples supposedly keep doctors away, but definitely not airport security guards. I've made that experience as well. I know why the rule is in place, but they made it sound like I was smuggling heroin or something.
ViviMage 39
There was a recent bust over the Canadian border with a hollowed out pumpkin filled with cocaine. Also, some fruit can harbor insects not native to the destination (Ie, Brazilian wandering spiders -- world's deadliest spider -- in bananas)
Missyeru 14
Maybe they thought you were the evil queen?
Enslaved 36
"What I need Is a good defense 'Cause I'm feelin' Like a criminal" Wait-- that's Fiona Apple
kumarina 35
They are not a fans of mac
padlockd 9
I can't believe nobody has made a "How do you like *them* apples" joke yet...
speakersboom 19
that's because they didn't like them apples. :'( they felt threatened by them apples. :(
miss_amazing86 10
If you're traveling internationally, there are strict regulations regarding what you can and can't bring with you. I have a friend who was detained over coconuts and a chocolate bar.