Anonymous
Bakersfield, United States
Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
blububble412
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Sierra Vista, United States
Busted
Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML
Airplane crap
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Leavenworth, United States
On the run
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Chevy Chase, United States
Holding pattern
Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington, DC an hour ago. FML
aarone23
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Rough
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
jcesom
United States
Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML
Ohwhy
Liverpool, United Kingdom
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Anonymous
United States
Suspect
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Hreyes
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Early warning
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
twitterfailsme
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Rishon Le Zion, Israel
Still not calling it X
Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
New Orleans, United States
It's sus to us
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Top comments
haileyshelton 14
Apple bomb?
RedPillSucks 31
Weapon of tasty destruction
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Comments (188)
hockey7468 7
#'Murica
noobpizza 1
Shit dude, those things are hella dangerous
sarahbevan20 11
There is a recipe online made by terrorists that teaches you how to make a bomb out of an apple.... This is legit. Sorry, I'm sure youre innocent OP, but I'm sad to say that apple bombs are a thing.
shellyzcat 3
That happened to me when I was ten, we were going to Hawaii, they said if I had "smuggled" it on the plane there would of been a 1500 fine and they made me cry.
Cow305 4
Guard: What are you planning to do with this apple?!?! Me: eat it...
oxygenius 14
Maybe they thought you stole Adam's Apple.
blackonblight 32
I know someone tried to smuggle cocaine in pumpkins recently, but an apple is probably not big enough to hide anything in except maybe some micro sized tech or a single razor blade, and they'd be able to tell easily.
LonelySkeptic 2
if you flew in to Cali with an apple you could bring bugs that would ruin the Californian crops.
darkfireflame 15
They're just doing their jobs.
SirKingCharlie 8
They had to get to the 'core' of the issue