Anonymous
Bakersfield, United States
Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
blububble412
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Sierra Vista, United States
Busted
Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML
Airplane crap
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Leavenworth, United States
On the run
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Chevy Chase, United States
Holding pattern
Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington, DC an hour ago. FML
aarone23
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Rough
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
jcesom
United States
Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML
Ohwhy
Liverpool, United Kingdom
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Anonymous
United States
Suspect
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Hreyes
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Early warning
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
twitterfailsme
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Rishon Le Zion, Israel
Still not calling it X
Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
New Orleans, United States
It's sus to us
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Top comments
haileyshelton 14
Apple bomb?
RedPillSucks 31
Weapon of tasty destruction
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
archertheo 15
I guess they only keep doctors away...
JKROB 16
an apple a day dosent keep the TSA away? okay that was bad...
buckdharma 37
They got a intelligence tip.The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again.
Edumcg 24
As a kid I always pretended an apple was a grenade. I guess those cops never got the memo that you know..... it wasn't.
Greenmarsh 31
Mac or iPhone?
Guffel 9
You mean the new iDestroy? :D
Ray_of_midnight 22
It says "California" for the location...California is actually known for being fairly strict on not bringing agricultural products in to the state, it's how they keep out insects that destroy crops. California's state Agriculture Department has been known to set up roadblocks and screen vehicles entering the state for people carrying fresh fruits and vegetables. I'm not making this up.
Chiikan 3
Maybe they freak out because it's black AND edible?
appleinfo11 4
Ecoterrorism is a risk, even more so is inadvertent spreading of parasites and diseases. In the long list, about 4 other people get it (check 1st page, ray of midnight): what may seem like innocent fruits/vegetables/firewood/etc will carry regional parasite/disease and completely devastate regional product and economy I know that apple worms are a big problem in the orchards in the western US and authorities are trying to limit exposure to WA's prize apple orchards to the little worms
appleinfo11 4
And by "first page" I meant most recent page. Navigation fail
lux0rd 18
It's your fault for having an Apple. If you have a Windows they would have just seen right through you and wouldn't have a need for questions.