Anonymous
Bakersfield, United States
Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
blububble412
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Sierra Vista, United States
Busted
Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML
Airplane crap
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Leavenworth, United States
On the run
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Chevy Chase, United States
Holding pattern
Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington, DC an hour ago. FML
aarone23
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Rough
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
jcesom
United States
Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML
Ohwhy
Liverpool, United Kingdom
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Anonymous
United States
Suspect
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Hreyes
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Early warning
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
twitterfailsme
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Rishon Le Zion, Israel
Still not calling it X
Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
New Orleans, United States
It's sus to us
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Top comments
haileyshelton 14
Apple bomb?
RedPillSucks 31
Weapon of tasty destruction
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Comments (188)
olpally 32
Why???? Lol. That's just idiotic.
gluesniff3r 3
Biosecurity.
Moochi456 20
I don't know. Apples are pretty dangerous! The doctors come running when you have those things!!
zandalee 19
No no. An apple a day keeps the doctor away don't you know. :)
Moochi456 20
It was supposed to be a joke. Lol. Keep forgetting sarcasm can't be heard threw phones :p
laden_swallow09 34
That wasn't even sarcasm. Now, if you said "make the doctors go running" instead of "come", then MAYBE it'd be considered wordplay at most. You just throw around the word "sarcasm" like you own it. Wasn't sarcastic, wasn't funny. Get back under your bridge.
Moochi456 20
Okay. The usual phrase is "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" I was saying the apple was doing the opposite.
prljm10 10
What kind of apple? iPad? iPhone? iPod?
brackaman 18
Maybe security simply didn't like the look of his iBrow, or his iLid. They probably just thought op had really suspicious iLashes.
Michele2luv 8
13 & 97 thank you. This is what I was hoping for when I clicked on this story :D
fk18 27
Must have been a slow day..
Pizzaman556 7
wow. j-just wow
Readoll 13
Did they question the banana in your pocket?
awkwardloveannie 28
that wasn't a banana ;) the search excited op
DDCA 24
An apple a day keeps the TSA away.
tiger8255 13
Or not.
awkwardloveannie 28
have you seen people use apples for drugs or razors on halloween? but I think questioning over a fruit is ridiculous
laden_swallow09 34
No, I can honestly say that I haven't. I'd like to see a news article where it actually happened, and not simply a warning to check your kids' fruit after trick-or-treating.
awkwardloveannie 28
when I was little and in elementary school they'd tell us don't accept candy apples from strangers because they could have razor blades in them
sunnyray812 42
What are you up to bringing an apple on a plane? Going to throw it at someone's head? I think security has gotten paranoid.
rawr_ily96 24
You say that like there was a time they weren't. My dad once got searched at an airport after enlisting in the Marines (This was before 9/11 when they got stricter on airport security) while on his way to Camp Pendleton in CA. Why? He "looked like a terrorist". Same thing happened at Six Flags Over Texas a year ago. -_-
WCARlover 34
Plot twist: it was a MacBook
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
Even bigger plot twist: It was an iPod Nano
nightbirdblue 27
Biggest plot twist yet: It was the newest Apple creation the iButtplug. Not only does it protect your bum from TSA agents, it also lets you listen to music without the use of troublesome headphones or earbuds and vibrates when it feels that your butt is about to be threatened.