Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TenebrificTurtle 0
Okay, your life sounds more interesting than mine. Someone got your breathless, you swooned to the ground, and someone took a shot on your genitals--sounds like a romance novel.
fireandice27 0
Now that's just mean!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
Rota 0
At the last two paintball tournaments Ive played, I was shot point blank in the neck and just walked it off. Quit being a whiny bitch. You deserve to get shot in the balls, you don't even deserve to have them in the first place.
Nakedsquirrel 5
For that matter, if you're actually participating in the game and not just standing there like a tard waiting for something to shoot at, your adrenaline is pumping, and the stomach is actually one of the least painful places to be shot, at a moderate distance of course. I'd actually rather be shot there than in my mask, because even with the rags you should have on hand to wipe the paint from your visor, the visibility just isn't as good as with a clean mask. The actual painful places to be shot are the neck, knuckles, base of the spine, pelvic bone, shoulder blade, and if your opponents are close enough, the back of the thigh. Shots to the chest, stomach and arms are nothing and if you can't take that minor abuse then you shouldn't be playing any sport in the first place.
Nakedsquirrel 5
COMMENT BURIED?!?!?!?! WHERES MY SHOVEL DONT WORRY BABY IMMA GET YOU OUT
Mx_Rider 6
rofl to number 39 i do what i want shut the **** up haha
Mx_Rider 6
45 wtf is this lets type an essay shall we? fml comments are getting to long? what ever happened to short sweet and to the point?
null_fml 11
It's kind of pathetic that you consider three small paragraphs an "essay". You're coming across as someone who's failed English a few too many times.
iwadasn 33
Maybe he was using hyperbole, which he learned by not failing English.
Tarak_fml 7
Shoudve lit that mofo up
tabrium 0
DAYUMM!!
ragsy 7
YDI for playing paintball.
ObadiahtheSlim 2
Fake. I paintball all the time. Getting shot in the chest won't make you winded. Plus it's against the rules to shoot someone point blank so even it if isn't fake, YDI for playing in such an unsafe manner.
tonyoffice12 0
i call bs u cant get winded from a paintball gun unless ur starvin marvin ur pathetic how weak!!!
Daaniellee1234 8
ahaha I laughed my ass off reading this. I can just picture it. Someone getting winded and hitting the ground. Then whoever your playing with, walking up to you, takes a look around, shoots you in the crotch, and runs away laughing. This is how I picture this FML.
beastly13 0
lmfao i pictured it all slowmotiony. likee he gets shot all dramatically in the stomach and falls. then the evil guy walks all slow with a pistol paintball gun while the guy is crawiling then says "game over." the guy turns around and gets shot right in the crotch lmao
rakhil11 7
i imagined him collapsing on the ground in slow motion, then this random like 5-year-old running up to him (in normal speed now), shooting him, laughing evilly, then running away ^_^