By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 537
You deserved it 3 991

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I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"

Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.


That's not how you birth control

You think she's goin to have sex with him after that? This birth control better then Hawaiian Shirt.

Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.

Funny how she'll be giving his replacement balls while destroying the original.

Nothing wrong with replacement balls. You can change them out for the holidays: eggs for Easter and jingle bells for Christmas. And then you just hang brass balls the rest of the year to demonstrate your confidence.

I always prefer the stress balls. It makes me feel so relaxed after they get played with .

Badkarma4u 17

Bad advice. A man getting shot in the groin wity a paintball sounds hilarious, right up until the trip to the hospital and emergency surgery

No shit it hurts. Just like a shot into a woman's ******.

They aren't naked. (Are they?)

Does it not hurt to have a high velocity, force hit you in the balls with pants on? Say like someone kicking you testicles? Same thing with women with their pelvic bone and sensitive parts in between the legs.

homesuckfucker 28

As someone with a ******, I can confirm that a hit to that region can be EXCRUCIATING. I tried to balance on a metal beam and slipped. Hi, I love oven and crumpled to the ground like they do in cartoons.

SystemofaBlink41 27

"Love Oven" Anyone else wanna sign a petition to replace the word '******' with this?

I second that motion - where do I sign?

First off, 46, thank you for being a man that understands that a woman getting hit there hurts like crazy! And 47, I totally cringed and squeezed my legs together when I read that!! My friend in elementary school did the exact same thing. She was walking on a bike rack, slipped and landed with her legs open on the bar, she ended up having to go to the hospital to get checked out. She was bruised for the longest time and that image will forever be burned into my brain!

I want to sign the petition, show me the paperwork!

As the author of a certain kayak FML, I can attest to this.

I was learning how to ride a bike when I got faster than I was able to control and I rode against a knee-high wall with a fence on top. I was hanging off the fence and hit my love oven* on the bike frame. It was green, blue and purple for weeks and I eventually learned to ride a bike a year later, because I wouldn't get near one earlier *Yes, I'm a fan of the expression!

If I was to play paintball Id wear a jock and a cup. Haha. Don't want to risk getting mr. Peepee and the twins hurt.

Greenteamextreme 16

Rainbow children :)

Like skittles, but much more annoying

taste the rainbow :D

countryb_cth 38

I can just imagine it now "Jimmy stop licking your brother!!!" "But Maaa the comercial said taste the rainbow!"

I would've said, "You tell me! " Then shot him in the balls.

Your boyfriend is an asshole. If someone did that to me, I honestly wouldn't stay with them. It was rude and insensitive of him, I'm not saying dump him, but you should talk to him about things that are ok and things that aren't.

Agreed. Boundaries were crossed on this day

Heres the thing... OP did not say her bf did it on purpose. given the benefit of the doubt he could have done it mid match and joked afterward. it doesn't necessarily have to be an instance of cruelty from him.

I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"

Exactly what I was thinking!

baxwar 15

Oh come on that's not even break up worthy

Don't see how wanting different things in life is not breakup worthy.

Maybe not break up worthy... but still funny. After a stunt like that... serves him right.

Should've got him back, would hurt him more. Sorry, OP

*shoots him back in the same place* "HOW ABOUT NOW, DO YOU! "

Yeah, kinda like "you're right, I don't anymore, let me make sure of that" Shot right to the balls

Wow. If that were me, someone wouldn't be getting sex for awhile.

nitrog100 21

Welcome to my universe.