Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
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Top comments
TenebrificTurtle 0
Okay, your life sounds more interesting than mine. Someone got your breathless, you swooned to the ground, and someone took a shot on your genitals--sounds like a romance novel.
fireandice27 0
Now that's just mean!
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Comments (146)
Witchcraft_fml 5
Shoot 'em down! Was your penis also gasping for air when it was shot, or was your girlfriend applying the appropriate CPR on it? Blow, fondle, blow, fondle.
judgeymcjudge 0
Hey man, if you're dumb enough to go paintballing in the first place, I think you automatically lose any right to complain about the pain you suffer from it. Honestly, you knew what you were in for - no sympathy here. Quit your bitching.
Broeman 0
#31, who the **** are you, an overprotective mother? If you get shot ******* POINT BLANK IN YOUR NUTSACK by some asshole who shoots you when you're clearly unable to fight back, then you have EVERY ******* RIGHT TO COMPLAIN. I guess you wouldn't know that, because your hermaphroditic testicles don't work and you wouldn't feel any pain if it happened to you.
judgeymcjudge 0
Lol, you're a ********, dude.
null_fml 11
No, #37, he's right and you're just retarded.
judgeymcjudge 0
Hardly. The OP was *paintballing*. He paid money to have people shoot at him, now he wants to complain because he got shot? Riiiiight.
khoff 0
you moron, there are rules in paintballing. Shots from close range are not allowed with few exceptions. Also, you arnt allowed to shoot someone whos already out. Your an asshole.
Sock_fml 0
Unless you're made of paper it's impossible to be winded by a paintball. More likely you're just a pansy. Also you say you got shot in the crotch like there's something there.
Nakedsquirrel 5
I've played paintball for ten years, and it's impossible to get "winded" by a shot to the stomach, no matter the distance. Paintballs aren't able to push the stomach in far enough to knock the wind out of someone, unless they're a squirrel perhaps. Are you a squirrel? And as said, point-blank shots break the skin and even (as I have experienced) can cause scarring. Getting shot in the crotch no less is much more serious than just "oh, and I got shot in the crotch point-blank." OP is full of shit.
AABatteries 0
Yes, thank you. Just another stupid made up FML that made the front page.
Nakedsquirrel 5
lol negative ratings
FrozenSoliid 0
YDI for sucking at paintball. if your gonna be such a whiny pussy about getting hit, stay home.
STAZ211 0
Agreed with #33. I've been paintballing for 7 years, this story is full of shit. There is no way in hell a paintball can knock the wind out of you. That aside, I've played with some really assholes over the years, and not one would be dumb enough to blank-range someone in the crotch. Even if they did, like #33 said, it would be much more serious than "oh and I got sh00t in teh ballz btw guyz". You would be in some serious trouble.
guitarman78965 0
ROFL
greendog32 0
what a dick guy
DeathShad0 1
Winded by a paintball? I've gotten shot plenty of times in the stomach and chest and it doesn't wind you... Bullshit.
ZannaBanana 0
dude i got shot in the throat with a paintball gun once ( by my dick neighbor). Man up.