Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
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Top comments
TenebrificTurtle 0
Okay, your life sounds more interesting than mine. Someone got your breathless, you swooned to the ground, and someone took a shot on your genitals--sounds like a romance novel.
fireandice27 0
Now that's just mean!
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Comments (146)
disgruntledyouth 0
LMAO people are bigger assholes these days. I know this is mean but you should have went up to the guy who shot you in the crotch, knock him down, stomp on his crotch, and unload a barrage of paintballs at him while he is on the ground. That should teach him some manners.
hXcsoccerplaya 0
#75, clearly you haven't played paintball. it's an fun sport when you play it right and aren't afraid of getting hit. and yes, you don't get winded by getting shot in the chest. it hurts like hell and you get a nice little bruise the size of a nipple on you, but you don't get winded.
crazybiker15 0
that's horrible man
theslipperytruff 0
Just an FYI, I would pay to see that.
callumthebee 0
pussy
Zallen 0
you know if someone does that, your allowed to empty your paintballs on him with no penalties.
Scorch117 0
At 119 No they can't you idiot I play paintball on a pro team, I have played speedball with Nicky Cuba and been with the program for years, and an idiot like you says that they hurt more if they're frozen? WRONG! If paintballs are frozen, they hurt even less. They'll break in your barrel and won't even come out of the end. They fall apart in your hands. And OP, what were you doing playing paintball without either a cup or paintball pants?!? No such thing as "more powerful paintball guns" because they're all chrono'd (limited at either 250 feet/second or 300) so all of you flaming roaches over here, stop spreading fake rumors that keeps people away from a sport! And by the way, if you're playing paintball, more experienced players WILL bunker you sooner or later, so you can get used to it or wear padding.
Navith 13
So now you have paint(ed)balls? Classic.
iiDangerCloseBK 6
I would have done the same thing you pussy!
katalinawine 0
that's awesome!