Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
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Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
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Top comments
metalhead4740 14
Well the man has his priorities straight...
GenaALazer 22
He might have gotten nervous. Don't worry, it's probably just a one time thing.
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Comments (107)
JaegerMayCry 13
I think the best question to ask is....... Did he solve it? if yes, reward him with sexy times. its a win-win :D
vipirius 18
Generally when a girl is lying naked in bed next to you, she doesn't WANT you to fight the urge.
DLT_fml 20
Maybe you should have left your bra on? Seems he likes a bit of a challenge.
ulissey_fml 22
Guess he had a color block.
PureGhost 11
Maybe he doesn't like women
123man 11
I hope you did what any self-respecting lady would do: Take a dump on his bed, wipe you butt on his pillow, get dressed, and walk out. All in silence (unless you're a loud pooper).
hannaaaahr 33
What...?
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
It must be #28's sexual fantasy. I've never heard of this strategy in my life.
zandalee 19
123man, have you just outed yourself as a serial pooper?! A self respecting serial pooper? Wow, wouldn't want to piss you off
123man 11
Obviously *I* don't do that. I was giving advice to the woman. But who doesn't love a good ol' lady log?
lalaney 14
The mix of responses on here reflects the reason why feminism exists: women can't win. "You're not trying hard enough, don't be a prude" "You're being too easy". You're a **** or a prude, OP, there's no winning.
davincidasecond 24
I don't see how that is considering there are barely any comments that say she's being a ****/prude. And honestly, if OP wanted something to happen she should have also outwardly said she wanted sex. Down vote me all you want, but personally I'm making no sexual advance on a woman on my bed, naked or not, unless she asks me to. Her boyfriend was probably just one of those guys.
blackonblight 32
Thank gods some guys like that actually exist. Be more vocal about that fact. It is an admirable trait to refuse to make assumptions and require clear, enthusiastically expressed desire before making a move. That just gave me a bit of hope.
RedPillSucks 31
Actually, I look at this as "guys can't win" We're expected to jump on a woman just because she's laying there naked? If we don't our sexuality is questioned. If we do, in some other context, we're a sexual predators (she didn't ask for sex). If she wanted sex, she should have done more than just lay there "suggestively". Say/Do something.
davincidasecond 24
And there also lies the problem 125, because honestly, I was thinking that too. One of the many reasons I don't make advances towards women without being asked (besides the fact that it's just disrespectful of a person's personal space) is that theres a huge chance I'll be looked at as or accused of being a rapist. Seriously, people don't think about these things?
barfcannon 24
I wouldn't want any guy to "ravage" me, 24. Now if we were talking about "ravishing", then OP probably wouldn't want her boyfriend to quell that particular urge
vffjvsegb 11
Ouch...
ifavela89 13
maybe he was as surprised as you were that he played with the cube instead of you. sorry op try try again
twinkiefeets 17
What?
ifavela89 13
meant he must have been so nervous his only chose was to play with cube.