Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
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Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
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Top comments
metalhead4740 14
Well the man has his priorities straight...
GenaALazer 22
He might have gotten nervous. Don't worry, it's probably just a one time thing.
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Comments (107)
kandy420 4
Are you sure he's not gay, or that you turned him that way?
Thunderstruck14 30
What's wrong with playing with a rubiks cube? You act like nudity is oh so special and he has to, idk, act differently just because you happen to not be wearing clothes.
ThaPrelude 11
I'm going to assume that you were lying there doing nothing so he thought you'd just star fish during sex. no guy likes a star fish.
RedPillSucks 31
Damn. Now all I can think about is Patrick Star. Hope it wears off before my next sexual escapade.
skyeyez9 24
I am like that with the damn Candy Crush game.
jkalan 5
I am a cuber myself, if my gf was naked on my bed, the last thing I would do is pick up a cube. if u know what I mean :)
TwistedCherub1 15
I knew the facts. However, one would not have an urge to "ravishing" a woman in any form because the tense is incorrect. Furthermore, to "ravish" could also mean to fill with intense emotion, which could work within the context of the statement.
caramelie 7
All I'm saying is, if the rubik's cu e was holding his attention more than A necked you, you might want to rethink this. Maybe your bf likes a little mystery? Maybe part of his fun is getting you out of your clothes? Not just you plopping down on his bed butt necked and waiting for him to get started. May e he was plotting where to start? First time he saw you necked, maybe spending a few catching an eyeful? Whatever, you might have to be the one who gets things started.
hobojobob 1
does he use fridrich or old pochmann
liaRawr 9
Dude those cubes need 100% focus you can't stop until you have finished #pisstake
Egorf 8
You should tell him to shift and rotate his priorities