Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
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Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
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Top comments
metalhead4740 14
Well the man has his priorities straight...
GenaALazer 22
He might have gotten nervous. Don't worry, it's probably just a one time thing.
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Comments (107)
Thatguy334 7
Are you sure you're not just a beard?
d4m4s74 12
I keep my condoms and drugs in a treasure chest cube (a rubik's cube that when solved opens up) Maybe he has the same plan.
NoFlippinWai 24
I hate to say this becaise I hate a down vote but 99 is correct. Ravishing a lover is nonsense. A lover can be ravishing (beautiful) or perhaps ravished (filled with emition). Ravage a lover is something comepletely different. I.E. 50 shades of grey.
theedgeofearth 2
Many would consider the Rubik's cube the simpler puzzle than women. So I can't blame the guy...
phatdaddy62 23
Perhaps he's gay?
airhead2015 18
Maybe he was trying to prove a point: women are harder to solve than a rubiks cube.
carina_47 16
As strange as it sounds... yes... yes indeed. I can solve a Rubick's Cube but I fail to understand my best friend.
jazalea8 16
Maybe he was trying to respect some boundaries?
badskater17 4
I am curious how you ended up naked??? maybe it was a bit overwhelming for him... ..was this the first time you were on his bed? the first time to have sex? sometimes less is more... sometimes the rolling around on the bed taking off each others clothes adds to the intensity of the moment and fun!
RedPillSucks 31
I got 9x9 problems, and a cube ain't one of them...
ElmoTouchesMe 4
Aah, the humble 9x9
icepick23 12
Are you the same color as his sheets? Maybe he didn't see you!