Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
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Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
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Top comments
metalhead4740 14
Well the man has his priorities straight...
GenaALazer 22
He might have gotten nervous. Don't worry, it's probably just a one time thing.
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Comments (107)
noreallywhat 17
Is his name Nick? I have literally had this happen before.
twinkiefeets 17
Someone actually did that to you? I hope you dumped him.
The_9th_Doctor 18
you know those things are easier to solve than women
ThaPrelude 11
well said sir.
skinnybyotch 16
Well is he a virgin? If so he's probably just nervous maybe you're the first women he's ever seen naked in real life
MrProbability 7
least you can be sure.. when he does get around to it... wait what kind of man does that.. but yeah like I was saying hopefully he'll give you that much attention next time.. make sure you finish
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Just like in Dude, Where's My Car! Is there also a 50 foot tall sexy female alien!? I'm now going out to buy a rubik's cube..
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
Hey, they're easier to figure out than women. *rimshot*
jrock9093 18
Well a skilled game like that might master him in bed with you
kthsdm 12
Poor dude was nervous.
TwistedCherub1 15
To "ravage" is to do damage enough to leave something in ruin. To be "ravishing" is to be beautiful. I don't think most women want their man to get the urge to be strikingly beautiful upon seeing them naked. "Ravaging a lover" is a figure of speech. "Ravishing a lover" is not.
Shrike 23
You're wrong. rav·ish /ˈraviSH/ Verb Seize and carry off (someone) by force. (of a man) Force (a woman or girl) to have sexual intercourse against her will. So not something you're likely to do to a LOVER, but it's still a verb with a dark meaning - not just a positive adjective. Why didn't you check your facts before lecturing this guy?