Miscellaneous: Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached...

By SoreNips - 12/04/2013 23:57 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 483

You deserved it 13 969

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Same thing different taste

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 655

You deserved it 3 295

By civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 672

You deserved it 66 211

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 979

You deserved it 7 499

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 618

You deserved it 1 059

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 03/03/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 1 985

By Ugggggggggg - 06/11/2012 05:11 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 581

You deserved it 4 860

Body modification

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 14:00

Today, I got a nipple piercing. My girlfriend thought I was pranking her with a fake piercing, because I wouldn’t be "daft enough" to get a real one, and she yanked it off, or rather through, my nipple. Yes, it cut my poor nip in half, and I now have two nipples where once I had only one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 339

Jerk

By Innocence - 13/02/2015 17:33 - United States - Amelia

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 108

You deserved it 3 537

By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 690

You deserved it 38 984

By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 16:15 - United Kingdom - Chester

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 967

You deserved it 4 968

osm1989_fml 6

Saturday 13 April 2013 5:34

The way this is worded makes me picture your nipples in tears.

spazz666 18

Saturday 13 April 2013 5:35

"What in the name of Dawkins" that's fantastic. Also, maybe she's just trying to tell you she's into pain. Sure would be a weird way of showing it, but ya know.

Comments

Noobert 6

Saturday 13 April 2013 23:57

You should counterattack her nipples.

Easybeats 10

Saturday 13 April 2013 23:57

Haha xD

Xotoolyxo 16

Sunday 14 April 2013 2:14

You were probably on her side of the bed, duhhhhh

groovycrazyjoe 18

Sunday 14 April 2013 2:39

suck hers until she cry

kelseythompson 27

Sunday 14 April 2013 21:18

wth

amifaiyaz 12

Sunday 14 April 2013 6:25

She was probably trying to be kinky. Or is a psychopath. You know they have the best sex.

Pandamonia88 9

Sunday 14 April 2013 9:48

ydi for using the phrase "what in the name of Dawkins". what a dork xD

binkztaah 2

Sunday 14 April 2013 13:48

Hmmm sounds kinky

be_written 5

Sunday 14 April 2013 21:00

Because its funny! Now I pinch my bfs nipples or poke them but man, I've never tried to Hirt him like that I'm so sorry!! I know how that is and I'm a girl!!!