By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 21:35 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 340
You deserved it 12 158

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Wizardo 33

Dodge a bullet and don't let it go on for more than 2 months OP, end it now for your benefit.


randomburger 7

Wow, don't judge a book by its cover I guess OP

#30 I am a girl, and I, unfortunately, approve this message.

ApollosMyth 22

Well this books contents are worse then the cover. Poor him.

-_- But seriously tho OP, what are you?! A queer??! :-/

Sorry you had to deal with her at all, but at least you only wasted two months. Dump her and cut every possible means of communication as well.

thosedogtags 8

Maybe it was the first thing that came to mind because she was scared... If its too soon for her then she shouldn't have to say it! Give it time!(:

jem970 19

So insulting him is an acceptable response? I don't think so.

thosedogtags 8

You've never insulted someone without thinking it through? Some people just don't have filters..

jem970 19

Thats a poor excuse. I'm sorry but when someone say the "L" word and I am uncomfortable I tell them, I don't call them a queer for expressing their feelings. Call me weird.

thosedogtags 8

Some people are too shy to confront others when it comes to saying what they're really feeling. You're not weird, but there are just many kinds of people who react differently in certain situations.

jem970 19

So it's ok she insulted him when he confessed his love? This is a ****** up world....

I don't think she is saying that it's okay. She is just saying that she reacted that way cause she was scared and that was the first thing that came into her head. You never know how you might react until it actually happens.

jem970 19

How do you know she's scared? I just think she's a bitch. Only assholes use the word "queer" anyway. That's a very hurtful term to refer to homosexuals as. It's mean any way you slice it. I respect your opinion but she just seems like an brat to me.

ApollosMyth 22

62, I don't know about you, but if I was scared or nervous, my first reaction would be to change the subject and not call the person names. I feel as that was a genuine statement and not just a "spur of the moment" slip.

Yeah but saying a homophobic slur shouldn't slip out even if you don't have a "filter".

Wizardo 33

Dodge a bullet and don't let it go on for more than 2 months OP, end it now for your benefit.

She was a little harsh. But you can't really love someone within 2 months. What op suffers from is infatuation.

Maybe they've known each other for their whole lives... Stop judging.

@#38: Yeah, because everyone is just as stunted emotionally as you are...

I agree with #43, for all we know is that OP has been trying for some time now and finally got the chance to be with her; thinking that the feeling was mutual, OP let the "big L" word slip. I don't think the way the other-half reacted to OP was necessary, hopefully things get better.

OhDearBetrayal 25

Honestly why would you pull out the love word after two months? No wonder she used that word to describe him.

OhDearBetrayal 25

Queer- something strange or odd, also something that ruins or spoils.

"Honestly why would you pull out the love word after two months?" Everytime I read a post like this, I can't help but wonder what you people do in the first months of a relationship. Bang each other and say: "I like you"/"Happy to have a friend like you"/...? Maybe my view on relationships is misformed because I started dating my boyfriend in high school, or because I'm a too romantic soul, but I sincerely believe that you have to be in love (or have some loving feelings at least) to call someone your partner. Otherwise, you're just dating. Imo.

OhDearBetrayal 25

94- Well, to me the word "love" is serious. If you throw around the word every time you enter a relationship then there's really no meaning behind it. You can have romance with someone you're in a relationship with but to say you love them means that your feelings go above and beyond towards them. "I looove my boyfriend after two weeks of dating, just like I loooved the last three I've had," isn't exactly the kind of romance that I'd want to find.

Two weeks isn't exactly the same as two months, and you can't know how long they had been friends before they started dating or how much time they spent together during those two months. I think everyone (with some experience) knows that love is serious, and I would have absolutely no problem with a partner who is slow to say it, but I guess I'm the kind of person who, once I know the person enough, knows if I'm in love or not, and most of the time that doesn't take very long. (And when I say most of the time I mean every time because I've only been in 3 serious relationships)

Some people fall in love fast. That doesn't it make it infatuation.

""I looove my boyfriend after two weeks of dating, just like I loooved the last three I've had," isn't exactly the kind of romance that I'd want to find." Me neither. But... Oh, I don't know how I must say what I want to say... Let me try it this way: when I saw my boyfriend for the first time, a shock went through my entire body and it felt like my heart stopped beating for a second. We started dating a couple of weeks later and eventhough I don't remember the first "I love you", I guess it must have been pretty soon. And now I wonder; if you don't have any romantic, magical feeling like that, why call it a relationship? Why don't you just say that you're seeing/dating someone until there are more feelings? I don't know for sure, but it seems like an abuse of the word 'relationship' if you say you are in one, while you don't even love your partner.

95- what you're talking about is going out with a bunch of people and saying you love all of them just because you're in a relationship. What she's talking about is only being in a relationship at all if you love, or reasonably think you might love, that person. Big difference.

OhDearBetrayal 25

105, 108- All I'm saying is that I use the word love with my parents and my brother, but it's going to take a lot to use that word with someone else. Unless you're 100%, which obviously you weren't if you not only broke up with them but moved on to a couple more people that you also used the word with, then the word shouldn't be used. It's special, and by repeating it with anyone you feel a connection with just goes to show that it's punch is gone. I'm not telling you all to change your vocabulary but I hope you consider that by using the word so often it doesn't equal "love" anymore. It equals "like."

#105 You don't have to love someone to be in a relationship with them. Being in a relationship means you're committed to them and you're exclusive, which is different from dating because you could be seeing more than one person at a time. Now it's great that you have a magical love bond with your boyfriend but you're one of the lucky ones. Some people enter a relationship not because they're already in love, but because they see a potential of falling in love. Unfortunately, not all of us fall in love as spontaneously as you and it's just unrealistic to expect that from anyone else. Love is a strong word and a strong feeling, and though its used carelessly these days the real thing is hard to come by.

"Some people enter a relationship not because they're already in love, but because they see a potential of falling in love." But why name it already a relationship then? Why not give it a more accurate, yet fancy name, like 'exlusive dating' or 'the making of a damn good relationship'? Really, it's just the term 'relationship' that bothers me. If you are in a relationship with your boy/girlfriend, I take it for granted that you love him/her. Otherwise, I'm terribly confused. On a sidenote, does the meaning of 'I love you' really devaluate if you use it too often? I say that I love books. And that I love the feeling of a warm and sunny summerday. Tea. And being creative. Buying nice yet cheap stuff. Antique postcards. Ice cream with sprinkles. Really, I love (like?) a lot of things. Yet, when I see my partner and my heart is filled with joy (still happens sometimes) and I say 'I love you', I know, I feel that that is different kind of love. But I will still say that I love books, because I know that words can have a different meaning depending on the context. God, what a rant about vocabulary and romantic shizzle. Shame on me.

Honestly, I totally agree with you. People tend to throw around the word "love " to easily. Maybe I have a weird view of things, but I think it's a word that holds a lot of weight and should be said if you absolutely mean it. Which to be honest isn't in two months.

There isn't a time in a relationship when you finally love someone. It's not "today our relationship turned exactly six months old and now I love you". I knew I was in love with my second girlfriend after seven months of dating; we went on many dates, had amazing conversations, and connected intimately. I knew I was in love with my most recent boyfriend the day after we started dating. There are those moments where you look at someone and think "I love you" and that varies from person to person, relationship to relationship; it just depends. It isn't up to outsiders to decide when you can love someone. It's up to YOU to realize if/when you love someone you know. No one knows you better than you know yourself and your own emotions.

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Loving people makes you a homosexual now? Unless she was just shocked by your declaration and made up later, let her stay your gf of two months, you can do better than that.

According to today's youth, reading a book can be considered "gay".

I think when she said queer, she was referring to him in the feminine sense. Girls = clingy. Although I don't agree with that statement lol.

Ah, that makes sense, 41. I didn't think of it that way. I was honestly wondering how saying I love you could be considered gay in any way. I mean, unless you're a guy saying it to a guy/ girl saying it to a girl, of course...

inthedopeshow 17

Perhaps this was her way of revealing that she is actually a man.

She obviously doesn't deserve to be with anybody if she's acting like that.

AJRand 14

Loving a woman somehow means you love men? Sounds reasonable.

perdix 29

She thought he was gay, so she felt safe and unthreatened in his presence. Now that he's come out the opposite way to her, she's panicked now that she has a live penis to deal with.

I love you OP, we can have a bromance, there is nothing really gay about it. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay.

jem970 19

I've seen five-year olds with more emotional maturity than that. I would sit down and ask her why that was her first response and see what she says. If she really thinks that the way you feel makes you weak or "queer" then leave her and find someone who has more emotional depth than a damp napkin.