By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 21:35 - New Zealand - Auckland
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
"Honestly why would you pull out the love word after two months?" Everytime I read a post like this, I can't help but wonder what you people do in the first months of a relationship. Bang each other and say: "I like you"/"Happy to have a friend like you"/...? Maybe my view on relationships is misformed because I started dating my boyfriend in high school, or because I'm a too romantic soul, but I sincerely believe that you have to be in love (or have some loving feelings at least) to call someone your partner. Otherwise, you're just dating. Imo.
94- Well, to me the word "love" is serious. If you throw around the word every time you enter a relationship then there's really no meaning behind it. You can have romance with someone you're in a relationship with but to say you love them means that your feelings go above and beyond towards them. "I looove my boyfriend after two weeks of dating, just like I loooved the last three I've had," isn't exactly the kind of romance that I'd want to find.
Two weeks isn't exactly the same as two months, and you can't know how long they had been friends before they started dating or how much time they spent together during those two months. I think everyone (with some experience) knows that love is serious, and I would have absolutely no problem with a partner who is slow to say it, but I guess I'm the kind of person who, once I know the person enough, knows if I'm in love or not, and most of the time that doesn't take very long. (And when I say most of the time I mean every time because I've only been in 3 serious relationships)
""I looove my boyfriend after two weeks of dating, just like I loooved the last three I've had," isn't exactly the kind of romance that I'd want to find." Me neither. But... Oh, I don't know how I must say what I want to say... Let me try it this way: when I saw my boyfriend for the first time, a shock went through my entire body and it felt like my heart stopped beating for a second. We started dating a couple of weeks later and eventhough I don't remember the first "I love you", I guess it must have been pretty soon. And now I wonder; if you don't have any romantic, magical feeling like that, why call it a relationship? Why don't you just say that you're seeing/dating someone until there are more feelings? I don't know for sure, but it seems like an abuse of the word 'relationship' if you say you are in one, while you don't even love your partner.
105, 108- All I'm saying is that I use the word love with my parents and my brother, but it's going to take a lot to use that word with someone else. Unless you're 100%, which obviously you weren't if you not only broke up with them but moved on to a couple more people that you also used the word with, then the word shouldn't be used. It's special, and by repeating it with anyone you feel a connection with just goes to show that it's punch is gone. I'm not telling you all to change your vocabulary but I hope you consider that by using the word so often it doesn't equal "love" anymore. It equals "like."
#105 You don't have to love someone to be in a relationship with them. Being in a relationship means you're committed to them and you're exclusive, which is different from dating because you could be seeing more than one person at a time. Now it's great that you have a magical love bond with your boyfriend but you're one of the lucky ones. Some people enter a relationship not because they're already in love, but because they see a potential of falling in love. Unfortunately, not all of us fall in love as spontaneously as you and it's just unrealistic to expect that from anyone else. Love is a strong word and a strong feeling, and though its used carelessly these days the real thing is hard to come by.
"Some people enter a relationship not because they're already in love, but because they see a potential of falling in love." But why name it already a relationship then? Why not give it a more accurate, yet fancy name, like 'exlusive dating' or 'the making of a damn good relationship'? Really, it's just the term 'relationship' that bothers me. If you are in a relationship with your boy/girlfriend, I take it for granted that you love him/her. Otherwise, I'm terribly confused. On a sidenote, does the meaning of 'I love you' really devaluate if you use it too often? I say that I love books. And that I love the feeling of a warm and sunny summerday. Tea. And being creative. Buying nice yet cheap stuff. Antique postcards. Ice cream with sprinkles. Really, I love (like?) a lot of things. Yet, when I see my partner and my heart is filled with joy (still happens sometimes) and I say 'I love you', I know, I feel that that is different kind of love. But I will still say that I love books, because I know that words can have a different meaning depending on the context. God, what a rant about vocabulary and romantic shizzle. Shame on me.
There isn't a time in a relationship when you finally love someone. It's not "today our relationship turned exactly six months old and now I love you". I knew I was in love with my second girlfriend after seven months of dating; we went on many dates, had amazing conversations, and connected intimately. I knew I was in love with my most recent boyfriend the day after we started dating. There are those moments where you look at someone and think "I love you" and that varies from person to person, relationship to relationship; it just depends. It isn't up to outsiders to decide when you can love someone. It's up to YOU to realize if/when you love someone you know. No one knows you better than you know yourself and your own emotions.
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.Show it anyway
Maybe she just didn't know how to react so she turned to that...
I've seen five-year olds with more emotional maturity than that. I would sit down and ask her why that was her first response and see what she says. If she really thinks that the way you feel makes you weak or "queer" then leave her and find someone who has more emotional depth than a damp napkin.
Dodge a bullet and don't let it go on for more than 2 months OP, end it now for your benefit.
Too soon? yea maybe too soon..