Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
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Top comments
rickster470 0
YDI you dumb shit.
kelsey_drives 0
lol, idiot.
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Comments (172)
supamayne 0
What the hell were you thinking?!?! It says do not drink so you drink the whole Jug?! You completely deserve it.
MsConstantine 0
This is bullshit. The laxatives you get for a colonoscopy taste vile. They make me want to spew even when mixed with something stronger like ginger ale. There is no way you drank a jug of it without realising it wasn't just lemonade!
crazyride 0
I'm 20 and just had a colonoscopy about a month ago. The new stuff is NOTHING like the old stuff (my dad had colon cancer and had to drink a vile jug of the liquid). This stuff dissolves in Gatorade, Propel or any other clear drink and does not change the taste that much. I used Propel and tasted some difference, but it was not vile, and I'm only 20 so I still have my picky tendencies.
MsConstantine 0
I'm only 23 but I'm in NZ so maybe we haven't caught up yet. My last one was in December and the laxatives were horrible.
hahaha6 0
It's suprising how many doctors vary in the types of preps they give their patients. (I work for a GI doctors office) and i can't believe all of the people who only had to drink milk of magnesia, or it sounds like just a lot of laxatives. A lot of doctors use a perscription medication that you have to mix up with water. It helps eliminate the possibility of a poor prep and the possibility of missing seeing something.
thedude2470 0
Agreed, Im 22 and just had one done as well. The laxative mixed with gatorade, and didnt change the taste very much at all. Its very possible he didnt know he was drinking a laxative, but seriously, who drinks 64oz of a fluid when they are thirsty? Thats 2 medium sized jugs of gatorade. Either this is fake, or your an idiot.
thebigslim 13
Wow..... shitty.
hahah567 0
hahahahhahaha have fun with that
crazyride 0
deleted
TysonFawlay 0
This is one of those times where I want to vote FYL and YDI at the same time, but I realise FYL means "Sucks, bad luck" and YDI means... well YDI. Your life is ****** but you still deserve it. Hence, YDI. ANd you're ******* retarded.
shethrewmybaby 0
I've done that, right before my ex boyfriends prom. Trust me it was an accident.
plexico 4
It'll be great ******** pee for the next day or so. You should get a colonoscopy while you are at it. You can't even feel the thing getting shoved up your butt and you have already endured the worst part. Nice going, ASSHOLE.
ellehcor 0
It's not the colonoscopy that hurts, it's the gas afterwards. Now that is painful.
plexico 4
I guess I was lucky to have escaped that. I had pretty good sedatives, though.
arolms 0
hahaha, this is the best post I've seen on here!
plexico 4
With all the toilet work it will be doing, you ought to buy your asshole a present. I've heard they like hats. You should go shopping for an ass-hat.