Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rickster470 0
YDI you dumb shit.
kelsey_drives 0
lol, idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
Standupboi 0
u are a effing idiot,YDI
funnygirl16 0
If there is lemonade in the fridge, i will always choose it over water. Water is just so boring! Sort of like walking in the woods. Only when you walk in the woods, its at least relaxing. Water isn't relaxing. Unless you're floating on a raft down the mississippi river. Yeah.. been there, done that.. It's as cool as reminding a giraffe to wear a seatbelt! But the moral of the story is never draw polka dots on your twin brother's music stand.
Neferria 0
You deserve this one a whole lot. Next time, use your brain to comprehend the words on the jug and actually think about why it's on there.
lobby0ne 0
You read the note...nuff said.
boredboisereside_fml 0
That's what you get you ******* asshole
cs68507 0
You should have read the note but i'm not surprised you didn't notice the taste. Most of them are citrus flavored and lemonade is a common way to drink it. Hope you didn't have any big plans. I mean...it could have been like the night before your first day of school. Cancel plans, read an old book, search the internet, and learn to read rules and follow them!!!
offtimeguitarist 0
Exactly. I had a colonoscopy done a few months ago and had to drink that stuff to clean my system. The OP deserves it for not recognizing a major difference in taste of the laxative drink and regular lemonade.
katiefershady 0
wouldnt it taste really bad?
judgeymcjudge 0
You poor ******' bastard.
shethrewmybaby 0
Maybe all these people are angry mom's
mr_zeus7 0
This FML is B U L L S H I T!!! As someone who has had multiple colonoscopies (for a genetic disorder), I can tell you that NO MATTER WHAT, the laxative TASTES LIKE CRAP, possibly with a hint of lemon. There is NO ******* WAY he drank a whole jug of the stuff without wanting to puke just from tasting it. No. *******. Way!!! Even thinking about that crap makes me want to puke!