Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rickster470 0
YDI you dumb shit.
kelsey_drives 0
lol, idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
123sploosh 0
MEEP MEEP FTW
cheeseburgerplz 0
You're probably the most retarded person ever.
ragsy 7
You selfish pig.
Subjectzero 0
water? ydi and you are a liar or a complete an utter retard
mehwhateverr 0
Tap water. Cheap, fast, and easy. YDI.
rihannalover 0
damn, do you have any respect for other peoples things? especially your mom's. you SO deserved it!
hailey_hillbilly 2
this is why you dont take whats not urs dipshit. have fun in the bathroom.
theshootergirl 0
you deserved it for not heeding the warning that was on the drug. If you pay attention to things that go on outside your own little world you would have known that your mother was getting a colonoscopy and had you processed what was written on the note you should have been able to put 2 and 2 together. What's that one commandment in the bible? Oh yeah, honor thy father and thy mother. Karma's a bitch ain't it?
ellehcor 0
Totally off topic, but could you pick a religion to chastise people with and stick with it? Karma and the bible are from two completely different sets of beliefs.
cwdeus 0
haha. agreed.
chalkdust 4
You remind me of my siblings, douchebag. Except THEY heed the signs I put on my stuff telling them not to touch it. (They're 11 and 13.) YtotallyDI.
DevineLegacy 0
hahaha YDI, you should of listened to the sign :P its your mom's not yours