Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
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Top comments
rickster470 0
YDI you dumb shit.
kelsey_drives 0
lol, idiot.
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Comments (172)
RIKANA 0
I think you diserved that one.
xkaitlinwhitex 0
you know what quenches thirst? -WATER- you could have drank some of it instead of stealing your moms lemonade.
renyark209 0
YFDI you ass. Karma is a bitch.
shethrewmybaby 0
you'd think people would know....esp when labeled. some people are meant to do these things so we can read about it and appreciate our intelligence compared to theirs...
thelonelylurker 0
Drink water when you're thirsty, you brat.
Shyman4ever 0
There is something called "the sink" where it magically makes water for you
PierreChaqueJour 0
What's with everyone hating on the OP for looking the in the fridge for a drink? Everyone's like, "DRINK WATER BITCH!!" I don't know about you people, but sometimes I'm in the mood for some lemonade, or juice, or milk or something. I didn't know it I've been a dumbass all this time for not going straight to the tap... But OP clearly deserves it. Way to take things that aren't yours and get punished for it =P
inu_fml 0
if he's so thirsty, then he can stick his head under the sink.
Darthbane2007 19
Because the Lemonade had a sign on it indicating that it was his Mom's, and not to drink it. At the very least he could have asked his mom why she put the sign on..
Spencer_B 0
Serves you right, asshole.
xSceneSceneBabyx 0
next time, go with water.
censorshipoff 0
Next time, listen to your mother. Especially when there's a note on it.