Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rickster470 0
YDI you dumb shit.
kelsey_drives 0
lol, idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
Brey1013 0
YDI - greedy
sj_19 0
YDI you lazy ****
WeAreAllF_ed 0
i'd have to blame mom on this one. how old are u that she has to label laxatives as lemonade? is she ashamed shes taking laxatives or that you wouldnt be mature enough to understand?
Meeeheeh 0
Why dont you drink water...
Bullshet 0
Like the only thing there to drink was a pitcher that says "do not drink." It's called tap water, dipshit. YDI
gummibehrs 4
YDI, it's called water. Way to waste your mom's lemonade and laxatives right before her colonoscopy, too. I hope you were on that toilet for hours.
Stragler 0
try sink water next time.
TuucciZ 0
Okay, lemme rephrase: "Today, I was idiot and drank something that had a sign on it, saying "DO NOT DRINK". Therefore, my life sucks due to reasons definately not caused by me. FML"
terriibabiiix23 0
You totally deserve it, dude. You mom specifically said 'NOT' to drink &+ what do you do ? YOU DRINK IT. What the hell is wrong with you ?! Plus, if you were REALLY thirsty, it's best to drink water not lots of juice, retart.
Green_Lady_fml 0
YDI for two reasons. 1. You stole something not yours. 2. Lemonade just makes you thirstier does it not? People are such dipshits these days...