Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rickster470 0
YDI you dumb shit.
kelsey_drives 0
lol, idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
Crethius 4
YDI obviously.
mrose57 0
Get real, Nick. That stuff tastes like shit, no matter what flavor you put in it. If you took one swallow you wouldn't want another one. No way you drank the whole gallon.
CharlotteZ 0
I agree...having had one, that stuff tastes nasty and there is NO WAY you couldn't have tasted it even through the lemonade.
Tria 0
Poetic justice, and YDI for taking something when it had a sign on it to say specifically NOT to take it... though I doubt you drank the whole lot, that laxative stuff tastes horrible. (I only know this because I am on opiates and have to have something to counteract the side-effects, but the stuff made me puke the first time I had to take it!)
Check_Mate 0
If you get good enough opiates, you don't worry about the taste. Mmm, opiates. Those bastards made having a chunk of bone and tumor tissue totally worth it. Of course, having a weight conscious sister who cares enough to give you her choco-lax is also awesome.
doubleAbattery 0
Unless your mom is outrageously possessive, you should have realized that there was probably a really good reason why she didn't want anyone but her to drink the lemonade. You deserved it for ignoring specific instructions.
beethoven_fml 0
IDIOT
macaroni93 0
YDI for being a dipshit.
Ron24 0
next time, drink water.
GreenAlbatross 3
Seriously, next time have a glass of water. It's better for you.
rohcky 0
I call bs. Why would your mom mix the solution and leave it in the fridge? You mix the laxative powder with water in a special container when you need to drink it.
scizzerin 0
they sometimes give pts these little jugs of premade 'cleanser'.
hahaha6 0
It usually tates better when chilled, rather than just mixed with cold water. Not that it tastes good at all.... I don't understand how you could drink the whole thing and not notice that it didnt taste like normal lemonade.....
Ibeapirate 0
God forbid you drink something as simple as water. Clearly you are above us common folk.