Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
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Top comments
rickster470 0
YDI you dumb shit.
kelsey_drives 0
lol, idiot.
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Comments (172)
glassisass 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you kinda desreved that one. shouldnt have drank it. should have made your own. p.s i would have done the same thing :(
athos1237 4
Respect mom next time a--hole! YDI! Hope everything comes out ok. Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!
123sploosh 0
you're a total douchebag
generalsmith2 0
i like how he laughs real hard at his own joke
ladidalisa 0
hahahhahaha 139. loled at that :)
noobienick 19
You're on an app/website called "**** my life". You're allowed to say asshole.
brianrubin 0
Wow, that sucks, but yeah, you kinda deserved it for ignoring the blatant warning...
glassisass 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you deserve to go to hell for being an asshole. how was he supposed to know what was in the drink. he though it was ******* lemonade. get a life ************
FalconWhitaker 20
... because there was a helpful warning on the jug telling him not to drink it?
meepmeep_fml 0
are you ******* retarded? who are you even replying to anyway? you seem to be too dense (or maybe you have a frightening lack of social skills and manners?) to realize that everyone thinks he deserves it because he took something that wasn't his, not because he's a dumbass who didn't realize what it was. (although, he is a dumbass for not realizing what it was, but that's incidental.) OP supposedly drank an entire jug of lemonade which had been prepared and reserved for something other than his fat stomach. I don't know why I'm bothering, since you're obviously a 13 year old boy whose mother tends to his every need. you're probably butthurt because this same thing happened to you last week.
Sorrel 0
Don't flatter him, he has the maturity of a six year old. Who happens to know some good cuss words for being six. =)
wysegirl 24
don't drink says it all.. typically there is a reason ESPECIALLY before certain exams or surgeries. OP got what was coming to him. IDIOTS
jam_21 0
You totally deserved it for not listening.... you were warned enough! :P
bubblemari 2
Im sorry i dont get it can someone explain?
FalconWhitaker 20
The OP found a jug of lemonade in his fridge. The lemonade had a note on it saying not to drink it because it belonged to his mother. The OP drank it anyway. OP's mom was due to have a colonoscopy - a camera shoved up her ass to examine the inside - and had filled the lemonade with laxatives in order to empty her rectum for said colonoscopy. The OP is now going to be very familiar with the inside of his bathroom.
soulonfire928 0
Laxatives are what's used to make it easier to pass stool
SimpleSimon 0
#37 you should write up the layman's medical dictionary. haha
missmarley93 1
lmao hahahahaha! fyl!!
catfriend44 0
that is your own fault for drinking it! XD
CantusVulpis 12
... I just love your icon. XD
twitchybabex3 0
Having had one before, and knowing what the containers look like and the stuff they make you drink tastes like, you deserve it and are a dumb ass. There is no way you actually thought it was legit lemonade, you would have stopped drinking it thinking it was bad.
Ketchup_Castle 30
Yeah, I remember my mother saying the stuff still tasted horrible with flavoring added to it. He really should have known it wasn't regular lemonade.
epicwinmaster 0
YDI for drinking your moms laxative lemonade. i bet that felt great coming out! but I thought that you had to buy a special kind of colon cleanser to do that?not just laxatives.
perfectwinds 0
No, you just have to drink milk of magnesia or some kind of laxative for it. I had to drink 2 bottles of milk of magnesia for mine. I now can't eat anything cherry flavored (because that was the kind I got) because it makes me nauseous. A very rare time when I'll call out YDI. If there's a sign, listen to it. It's like wet paint... LOL.