Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing "Never have I ever." My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, "Never have I ever had an orgasm." FML
Today, I’d never felt like a ho before, until I was at a party where someone decided we needed to play 'Never Have I Ever', and I’d done everything sexual that people were coming up with. I actually felt disgusted at myself. I might need Jesus. FML
Today, my wife is upset because at a party we took part in an X-rated 'Never Have I Ever', which exposed how filthy I was with past girlfriends, and how boring our sex life is. I’d done almost everything, while she, who’s only ever been with me, had only done 5 things off the list of about 40. FML
Today, I canceled going to a party with my sisters because I had a secret plan to have a threesome. They left for the party, but soon returned thinking it would be no fun without me. By then we were already making a lot of indecent noise. They heard it all. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML
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Top comments
pabj208 23
YDI for knowingly going to an adult toy party with COLLEAGUES and YOUR MOTHER!!!
axfabxdisaster 25
Wait... If you knew your mom is your co-worker why didn't you walk away?
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Comments (83)
laden_swallow09 35
What, how d'you think you were brought into this world in the first place? Sears & Roebuck?
TheLadyOpal 30
We all KNOW how we came into this world, but nobody wants to really THINK about it.
Brandi_Faith 34
No one wants to think about it and we certainly don't want to hear details!
Ieri 31
Why did you even go to an adult toy party in the first place if you knew your mum would be there too. And vice-versa why was she so comfortable going there with her son/daughter? I don't even get why this is an FML what were you expecting to hear, home made gummy bear recipes?
Brandi_Faith 34
Even if op didn't hear stories or didn't know this game was going to played, you'd think she still wouldn't want to see her mom picking out things to buy or even looking at them. That alone would freak me out. I understand her maybe not knowing they were going to talk about their own experiences, but either way, that situation + mom can only equal disaster and tmi.
MrZsDad 19
WTF? You have gummy bear recipes?
dolphinlvr7 24
Where do you work?????
AnaTod 9
Why would you even go
daisynugget 14
An "adult party" lol ?
silverspud 16
I love it, but let me expand. 1. No, I don't think I am a product of the virgin Mary. I'm well aware of my parents sex life (my room was next to theirs as a kid) and I'm all for them still having a healthy sex life as they have been married for over 30 years. 2. I have been to a similar party before which is why I had no issues going to this one with my mom. The only difference was we didn't play games where I got learn everyone's favorite positions. 3. If I am invited to one again, yes, I will remember to tell my ride to stay home. I agree I deserve it for going, but I still need brain bleach: sometimes there is such a thing as too much information.
Enslaved 38
Curious, how many times did you have to take a shot/drink, because if not, your mom probably heard some things she rather not have too? Lol
TheBossBryson 11
So she basically gave you the talk?
jpapritz 11
Follow up!!
ProSwimmerFL 16
WHOA hang on you went to an adult toy party when you KNEW your mom was a co worker............ And she was invited and you didn't leave... Ummmmm wow I'm confused on what you were planning on hearing or seeing for that matter. Well you deserve that BIG TIME
leogachi 15
Why do you always write "um" with too many m's?
flyerpretender 3
Ahhh... Memonries that last a lifetime!!!