Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Humblebrag - FML

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my wife is upset because at a party we took part in an X-rated 'Never Have I Ever', which exposed how filthy I was with past girlfriends, and how boring our sex life is. I’d done almost everything, while she, who’s only ever been with me, had only done 5 things off the list of about 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 325

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Don't give up

By Frustrated - 24/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife complained that our sex life is too boring and vanilla. I have spent the last two years suggesting ideas to keep it interesting: S&M, swinging, roleplay, cosplay, public play, new toys, you name it. All I ever hear is, "Eww you pervert, that is disgusting and sick, how dare you even mention that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 112

Dominatrix

By Grudges - 01/11/2025 20:00

Spicy

Today, I found an odd notebook in my wife's desk and opened it. I learned why our sex life has gotten so boring: every time I upset her, she secretly bans something sexual. For instance: "June 16th - dented car - no more lingerie" or "August 9th - forgot wallet on date night - no more rope play." FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 123

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 05:01

Spicy

Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 1 462

Who's been a naughty girl?

By one cock too many - 04/08/2020 05:02

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m the guy whose wife made adult films in college. Although embarrassed, I thought I may be able to get past it. Except for the fact that we dated in college, and she insisted we wait until after we were married to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 890

You deserved it 396

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 110

Tempted?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 00:02

Spicy

Today, I found out that my prude wife, who has given up on anything remotely sexually exciting, has been researching swinger clubs. I found out when she “accidentally” texted me a Vice article on the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 159

Bygone days

By No fun for me then - 08/04/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Spicy

Today, my wife was telling me about some kinky things she did with a previous boyfriend. Since my sexual adventures were fairly limited compared to hers, I commented that I would like to try that sometime. She said, "Why would we have kinky sex? We're already married." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 91

By skeletor - 18/02/2009 03:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing "Never have I ever." My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, "Never have I ever had an orgasm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 078

You deserved it 21 527

What about me?

By crushed - 23/05/2020 02:00

Today, my wife told me about an old boyfriend she had. She told me that they used to fool around, and that she’d give him blow jobs all the time. I never get any action like that from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 796

You deserved it 270

Stuck in a rut

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 171

You deserved it 343

Next

Top comments

Chazzster 29

Tuesday 5 November 2024 20:45

Some party games are just a bad idea…

Thaylok 17

Thursday 7 November 2024 2:22

oR... you can pull the handcuffs and leather out of the drawer and help her have some fun.

Comments

Chazzster 29

Tuesday 5 November 2024 20:45

Some party games are just a bad idea…

kltkiara 6

Wednesday 6 November 2024 0:17

Sounds like she needs a hall pass since you’re holding out on her

kltkiara 6

Wednesday 6 November 2024 0:18

Sounds like she needs a hall pass since you’re holding out on her

Thaylok 17

Thursday 7 November 2024 2:22

oR... you can pull the handcuffs and leather out of the drawer and help her have some fun.

TXdude4503 2

Sunday 19 January 2025 13:29

not your fault she’s boring in bed

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I bought a different car because I was having to constantly repair my old one. On the way home from the dealer, the check engine light came on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 846

You deserved it 217

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 687

You deserved it 9 975

Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 566

You deserved it 1 918

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 039

You deserved it 5 811

Today, I found that the only two people I've ever been in love with fell in love with one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 103

Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 148