Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing "Never have I ever." My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, "Never have I ever had an orgasm." FML
Today, I’d never felt like a ho before, until I was at a party where someone decided we needed to play 'Never Have I Ever', and I’d done everything sexual that people were coming up with. I actually felt disgusted at myself. I might need Jesus. FML
Today, my wife is upset because at a party we took part in an X-rated 'Never Have I Ever', which exposed how filthy I was with past girlfriends, and how boring our sex life is. I’d done almost everything, while she, who’s only ever been with me, had only done 5 things off the list of about 40. FML
Today, I canceled going to a party with my sisters because I had a secret plan to have a threesome. They left for the party, but soon returned thinking it would be no fun without me. By then we were already making a lot of indecent noise. They heard it all. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML
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Top comments
pabj208 23
YDI for knowingly going to an adult toy party with COLLEAGUES and YOUR MOTHER!!!
axfabxdisaster 25
Wait... If you knew your mom is your co-worker why didn't you walk away?
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Comments (83)
Pingvinai 37
We all know our parents get freaky, we just never want to hear about it. To be honest YDI for agreeing with attending in this kinda event with your mom there. I mean, what did you expect.
CyberSeeker 20
That's pretty bad
tranced_ 45
Hope you learned something new ;)
FrostyNipz19 12
Where's the mind bleach when you need it
MandyMeow_fml 18
Well that's a risk you were taking when you went to a ***** party with your mom
RuBloKon 15
Completely agree; this is the first FML where I disagree with the majority vote.
daddysgirl243 21
I guess she was thinking her mom wouldn't have said all of that haha
dudefromasia 3
She didn't write the main part. What did you hear?
Dexter83_fml 17
Keep work and social life separate
rohaanncool 15
Atleast now you have an idea how you were born.
Miss_Mandi 29
I hope you heard stuff about crazy orgies and the usage of strap-ons, because what else were you expecting?
christinamarie17 29
Please tell me this was a mandatory work party.... Actually no if it was I'd just find a new job. Nothing is worth going to an adult party with your mother.