Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing "Never have I ever." My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, "Never have I ever had an orgasm." FML
Today, I’d never felt like a ho before, until I was at a party where someone decided we needed to play 'Never Have I Ever', and I’d done everything sexual that people were coming up with. I actually felt disgusted at myself. I might need Jesus. FML
Today, my wife is upset because at a party we took part in an X-rated 'Never Have I Ever', which exposed how filthy I was with past girlfriends, and how boring our sex life is. I’d done almost everything, while she, who’s only ever been with me, had only done 5 things off the list of about 40. FML
Today, I canceled going to a party with my sisters because I had a secret plan to have a threesome. They left for the party, but soon returned thinking it would be no fun without me. By then we were already making a lot of indecent noise. They heard it all. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML
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Top comments
pabj208 23
YDI for knowingly going to an adult toy party with COLLEAGUES and YOUR MOTHER!!!
axfabxdisaster 25
Wait... If you knew your mom is your co-worker why didn't you walk away?
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Comments (83)
WhoCouldIBe 11
You should've thought that through
whiteman23 6
why the **** would you go to a sex toy party with your mother
Sathane 21
Details?
superspooky 13
YDI for attending an adult party with your mom.
KiewietJ1996 1
that's why you don't go to adult toy party's with ur mom.
opiate_ape 10
ahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahha
MasterBob_fml 14
Time to have a talk with her and get a new mother.
mwali02 32
That's when you don't go. YDI.
FlutterLoud 29
lol YDI for going with your mom but that's funny Love that game Sorry op
deviousangel89 13
*says in a sing song tone* Awkward...