So like two beers?

I think you left out quite a bit of the story. Pretty sure alcohol does not break your nose by itself.

You must have been pretty fucked up to punch yourself in the face

So, slow it down next time. You did this one to yourself. Although, we do want to know how you actually broke your nose.

You "drank so much [you] ended up breaking [your] nose"? No, you drank so much that you did something careless (such as falling off a bar stool, or tripping over your own feet) or something stupid (such as picking a fight with a bodybuilder, or deciding it would be fun to hit yourself in the face with a bottle) that resulted in your nose being broken. Getting drunk is not a "get out of responsibility free" card. "I was drunk" does not excuse careless or reckless or stupid behavior.