Miscellaneous: Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere...

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 974

You deserved it 18 433

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By mediocreboobs - 18/02/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 445

You deserved it 8 848

By youjustsuck - 25/07/2011 18:07 - United States

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 257

You deserved it 12 775

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 755

You deserved it 7 229

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 628

You deserved it 48 160

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 652

By wtfisgoingon - 28/04/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 349

You deserved it 3 695

By ScaredDude - 19/05/2019 04:07

Today, I was home alone in the dark and I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it was so I didn't answer. They kept ringing, so I got a bit scared and called the police. When the police showed up, they told me it was a Chinese delivery guy with the wrong address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 1 995

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 34 559

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 327

You deserved it 639

By Anonymous - 21/02/2014 09:59 - Russian Federation - Lipetsk

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 954

You deserved it 4 112

Inoku 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 20:15

He probably screamed because you screamed. What was he supposed to do, wink and give you a thumbs-up?

roflcopterzzz 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 20:20

I bet he had a nice package for you.

Comments

BadOwner 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 21:06

he probably had his DICK IN A BOX!

themixedt4pe 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 21:22

YDI for having a glass front door. Seriously. How can you avoid door-to-door sales people, etc? Hard to pretend you're not home if they can look in the door and see you...

themixedt4pe 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 21:33

Also, unless you have no neighbors, YDI for not realizing that people can still see in your house even if you're the only one home. Windows work both ways you know.

DameGreyWulf 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 21:40

LOL it's the Internet, kiddo. Get used to it.

Flounder 2

Tuesday 11 August 2009 21:46

I literally lol'd...thanks OP

YourLife_sucks 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 21:47

HAHAHAHAAAHAHAH. I literally started laughing , the last part " ... so did he"

anonacs 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 21:53

i walk around naked all the time. not a big deal. its the fact that someone screamed at seeing you that makes it bad.

DameGreyWulf 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:15

Hey I might scream too, if I wasn't counting on seeing them naked. It's quite a surprise.

spazchick 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:03

lol that was the first thing that made me laugh all day :)

DameGreyWulf 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 0:07

It's not a very big if; there are TONS of people with glass doors without curtains. My aunt, for one. Fortunately, her bathrooms are towards the back of the house instead, right against the bedrooms. Though she is definitely stupid for walking around with glass doors with no curtains, front doors or not. Why was she near the front door naked? Was she gonna answer it naked? lol