Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
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Top comments
reapfml 0
brush yo teefs fool
ReyEr9412 0
Bad dental care is also linked to SHUT THE **** UP
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Comments (117)
3rw0n 0
lmao
katrin10 0
hhah
ZleveL 0
rofl
maskedman 9
I laughed so hard at this. Then I double-checked my breath. Then I laughed some more.
wandaax03 0
hahahahaha you are awesome
pinkbrunette 0
so did i! lmaoxD
jessicams 0
brushing and flossing daily helps. oh and best way to tell your breath smells is by licking the back of your hand and smelling that. to make sure you get all the plaque drink something red- it sticks to the plaque and makes it easier to see where you missed
queen30788 0
ew thaz nastyyyy
Nakedsquirrel 5
Tip: Just because your hot carls aren't one of your meals, doesn't mean you shouldn't brush after getting one!
CraziiChiick1234 0
There is this thing called toothpaste... u should try using it... just saying!
jennay8288 1
a lot of people have told you to brush your teeth, OP, which you should a little more often since your mouth obviously smells gnarly. but often times its your stomach/digestion thats causing the shitty smell in your mouth. soo i would say you know, eat better, more fiber, greens, etc, to clear your body out of crap, literally, and things because its probably the shit thats in you thats causing you to have shitty breath.
Sniper3000 0
That was great advice and it makes sense.
adonals 0
YDI. Personal hygine.... learn it; enough said.
CallMeHush 1
Hi Jean!
adonals 0
woahh, typo didnt think it was that big of a deal but thanks.
Luciens19 0
It was that big of a deal, 'nuff said.
strength413 8
Now, i can understand that having a child who would need to be checked in case they pooped them self would probably be very time consuming, and maybe you don't have time to shower, but there's always time to brush your teeth.... always.
mildii 0
eww!! please brush your teeth. For the sake of your surrounding people!!